what I learned over Memorial day 2011

We went to Pacolet, Lake Lenier , and a neighbors bbq party in our neighborhood...

*why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.
*why did the alligator cross I26? Don't know, he never made it, but it was the first time I'd ever seen a squished alligator in SC.

*when suntan lotion says it's for kids, it really is. Johnny and I got burnt patches everywhere, but the kids are perfectly tan.

*Ada can't swim, even if SHE thinks she can. Aunt Laura asked her if she needed her arm floats. "no" was her reply as she leapt in.

*My husband can stick his foot in his mouth in any city. He told me I was an 80 year old woman on the inside.

*Ada: mom, can we leave? ME: not until your dad gives us the ok. Ada: Where is the ok? Can I go get it for him?

*ME: go say goodbye and hug your cousins. Ada: See you later, loser. (high five)

*Can't keep a mother away from her only son. they must have one on one time. even if the step brother and cousins are on their way...

*Don't let kids test the water with their feet when you've told them you're not going swimming yet. Inevitably one will "fall in"... and of course it will happen when the baby is asleep and no one can stop the kids running.

* Mother in law: Johnny, why are you wearing your glasses in the water? Johnny: because I can't see without my glasses mom. MIL: even in the water?

*Doesn't matter what snacks you bring on a trip, they won't be good compared to ANYTHING else.

*an 8 year old can still be afraid of a man eating jellyfish coming up on shore and dragging her in.

* I can still hear my kids complaining over the pleasant breeze of a perfect beach day.

*Don't bring healthy food to a BBQ. they won't eat it.

*Do bring more dessert to a BBQ. need more.

*Why do the # of baths multiply when you aren't doing anything... oh yah, sweat.

And that's what I learned over my memorial. I'm sure there are other things, but my mama brain took it away.

I'm a pharisee...

So there's this story. A really popular guy (a goody too shoes for all intensive purposes) walks into a church where this guy who works for an insurance company is praying. The popular guy gets all cocky and starts praying outloud (real loud for everyone to hear) about how he is so thankful to God that he's better than a jerky insurance salesman.
that's me... I really have Christians I look up to and want to be like one day. I see godly men and women who inspire and encourage me and I don't feel like a jerk. until this past weekend, that is.
I saw friends of mine who may not have always had it all together. I felt like we spurred each other on for years to pursue God with passion, but this week as I was talking, I noticed something new. My friend had lost weight and gotten trim, informed me that she was running 5k's. I see her quiet times out and she has this better attitude... and I should be praising God and encouraging her because I see God working in her, seeking him out in every day situations.
But the pharisee in me got frustrated.
I realized that really I thought I wasn't half bad because there was someone else that was just as "bad" as I was and if God loved her, he'd love me too...
well, I don't know if you realize this, but God doesn't love me because I spend time in the Word or have shared the gospel daily with my children, leading them in the salvation prayer. God doesn't love me because I have my life all together... and he doesn't love me because he loves someone else less. He loves me because he made me. He loves me with all the flaws that came in the fall because he sent his son to pay the penalty for all my sin. He sees me as all he knows I can be and I need to remind myself that he wants that not just for me, but for you and everyone i know. So, I can still be taught 24 years later, and I want to encourage my friends as I would hope they would encourage me to love God the best I can. I mean, I don't love Zoe any more than Ella just because she's got attitude, or love Ada more because she's so cute... I love all my children...

I am strong-willed.

Where to begin? We are having a "discussion" with Ella right now. She thinks that she only should eat sugar. Now with any other child, this wouldn't be an issue, but only Ella can make this a battle to the end.
now, there's so much background, I'll try to lay it down without confusing you.
People say Ella is just like me (finding it's slightly true)
Have been having discussions on how to discipline.
Have had a lot of discussions on strong-willed children.
Then there's this morning. Ella is incredibly angry because she was caught throwing away food, sneaking snacks, lying to her teacher, mooching money for sherbert, and other a sundry things like that related to food. She's VERY mad. Oh, did I mention that we decided to go on a refrain from sugar (for her). She's decided that she can't look me in the face, she couldn't eat dinner at the same table as us last night (even though we went where she wanted to for dinner because she actually ate her lunch), She has huge bags under her eyes because she won't go to sleep when we tell her, and she has to come up with things to blame us for ... oh and won't say goodbye or she loves me when she gets to school.
So this morning i woke her up by singing and rubbing her back, telling her how excited I was for her at school today. she smiled at me and asked what we were doing this afternoon. I told her we were going to the Tanger for the ice cream social. I wasn't going to stop our plans just cause she got in trouble, but there would be other fun things for her to do. Well, she's been telling us for 2 weeks now that she wants to earn 3$ for these gloves at Tanger, and proceeded to tell me it's my fault that I haven't just given her the money because she would have bought the gloves today... all with a smile on her face... a devious provoking, strong-willed smile.
Dont start my day angry girl!
I told her in the car, just let it go... she's so tired looking, and so angry that she's missing out on so many fun things... just let it go. And it hit me... I am so strong-willed even as an adult.
I don't care what the statistics are, don't tell me what I can and can not do. If you tell me it's not possible, I will try my darndest to make it happen. Don't tell me I don't know what i'm talking about, I'll argue to the death over trivial things.
And how much does it drive me crazy when things are out of my control... especially things that seem like they should be in my control: like my body or my family. I get so angry when things aren't MY way. I have started to get bitter about a couple things in my life... and I heard myself talking to Ella: Just let it go! I need to take 5 seconds to think how important what I'm standing for is, and if it's something in my control... oh wait, it's all in God's control anyway... and stop missing out on the things that are so great because i'm angry about the things that are wrong.
So, ella... i'll probably win this battle because I've had a few years to perfect my strong-will, and one day I hope for you to use your strong will for good and not for evil...

5 minute rough house

What a memory? Did you do this?
Now , as a 5 year old, i thought my dad was a sadist. He would yell it out as I would walk by and my 9 year old brother would pop out of the shadows to beat the crap out of me. As I screamed for help, my dad would just sit there with his beer on his lap, watching the show. Surely, my brother and father were plotting against me.
See, I figured it out though.
the other day, Johnny and I were sitting in the kitchen, listening to the girls upstairs. There are like 3 comments that we hear... stop, each others names, and moooooom. i turned to Johnny and said, " I just want to yell out 5 minute rough house". He didn't understand so I elaborated. "I just wish they would beat the snot out of each other and get it over with". Johnny was mortified. I blame it on being an only child.
To all of you with siblings, sometimes problems can only be solved with a good bloody nose or broken pinky.
My brother and I would get it out of our system. well, mainly my brother did. It took years for me to learn the art of fight club. (oh darn, there is no fight club: rule #1). there were rules in our family though. 1. No making it impossible for the other to have children later in life. 2. no biting... aaaannndd... that was about it.
i remember the 5 minute rough house over the last IBC rootbeer.... mmmm... that was a good battle, maybe because it ended with me drinking it, even if my brother made me puke it up later... I still won.
but I think it helped my dad too... he'd sit back and vicariously let go of all his frustration with us by watching us... I just want the same opportunity too... I demand 5 minute rough house...
starting now.