Warm fuzzies

It's been a while: sorry.
I wanted to mention that this Christmastime, I had 2 of the better compliments I've ever had in my life. These compliments weren't about the way I look and I don't think the people who gave them to me even realized they were complimenting me. I feel like I walked away like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty... better for life and wanting life to be better.
For Christmas my aunt brought over a couple friends. We are always happy for guests at the house and these ladies fit right in. One lady came up to us and let Johnny and I know that they read our year end letter. Then she said, "Whoever wrote your letter is a very talented writer"
That doesn't seem like much, but it was to me. I really try to think about how I want to convey my thoughts... I  write a lot like I think, but I either want to convey an emotion or get straight to the point. It was a sweet feeling to hear someone appreciate that effort.
Then the next day I went out with my sister in law. We were just talking and chatting about what we thought we would be when we grew up and did that change etccccccc...
Then she said, " you know, I see you being famous for something you did being you [rather than being a famous actress or something]. Can you imagine me being an activist? or starting world peace? or even just helping out in N. Africa and it affecting the world.... that was an amazing compliment to give me that kind of potential.
This season of life has been hard with moves and setbacks. But I have hope for the future and sweet friends (and strangers) along the way that have given me potential. I can't wait to see what happens over the next year!

First World Problems

Dear Nestle Purelife Water,
     I appreciate that you don't want to shortchange me on my bottled water that I pay more for than a gallon of gas. You fill your water literally all the way to the lid which is much appreciated. But, because of your environmental conscience you decided to use less plastic in your bottle making, creating a more flimsy bottle. Every time I open your water, because you thought so much about my money and my health, I squish the bottle, shooting water out the lid and all over my pants. Please kindly, help the economy by hiring a person to take one sip out of each bottle for me so that I don't create a situation in the car while I'm driving.
thank you for all your consideration,
Ali Campbell

My refrigerator has buttons on the front that allow me to choose the temperature for both the freezer and fridge side. these buttons are on the same panel as the buttons for the ice and water dispenser. My children constantly turn the fridge to 32 degrees, causing everything in the fridge to freeze over including my organic spinach, ruining it... arg

my bananas don't last long enough.

My family wants to buy presents that I don't need for Christmas.

I really like the as seen on tv section of the store: it really might  make my life easier for 29.95. Why can't I get a job?

Pinterest: why do people pin things  that they want to wear but don't own or afford....

Microwaves are too slow.

I hate having to wait for the Dr.

I hate how many pills my family takes.

Facebook: some people...

Fruit comes year round... I don't even know what's seasonal anymore.

I have too many books.

Why does AMC not allow me to watch walking dead on HULU?

I'm behind on once upon a time...

The funny thing about all of these things is that people , we really do complain about things all the time that we don't realize we are privileged  to have.... Thankfulness. It's a mindset.

dear dumb diet diary

So there is advice out there from the powers that be that says keeping a food journal is good for you. well, if that's right, then keeping a log of how I'm doing on this diet will give me catharsis.
This was my first week.
I have to eat 5 of their meals a day and make one of my own. I atleast had some variety: eggs, chicken, beef, fish...
I had my struggles: someone  talked me into cheesecake (ok partly myself), I had to go to five guys for my mom and NOT eat their fries, and then there was the struggle of THIER FOOD.
Let me introduce you to my nemesis: the mustard pretzel stick...
it's deceiving, it's called a pretzel, but actually it's just mustard flavored , protien powder laced dirt that's been glued together. I bought a box of it. 7 bags come in a box, and since I paid for it, I have to eat all of it... UUGGHHH. So every day I choke down these delicious cracker type things... Good thing is: they make me completely not hungry.
Here's my unicorn: the peach mango smoothie. I have made this thing every night this week. I can not get it QUIIIIIIIte right. Sometimes it tastes watery. Sometimes it tastes chunky.
So how did this week go:
drum roll please
I lost 6 lbs!!!!
My plan this week... going out of town... dang I want some french fries!

By rock bottom, I mean fat bottom

I love a good cookie (just call this before picture)

I have hit rock bottom.
I will never tell you how much I weigh. Why? Imagine this: My supportive loving husband of 12 years is sitting with me a couple months ago. I haven't had the guts to tell him how much I've gained in over a year. Then I can't take it anymore. I need help because I weigh just too much... surely, my wonderful , amazing husband can encourage me in this endeavor ( and for the most part, to his credit, he has tried to help me and encourage me) but as I tell him how much I weigh, his response... "WHAT!!!??? Are you kidding me? How did it get this bad?"
well.... ok. I think I'll just keep things to myself.
My motivation has been nothing. I really just want french fries every day.
I've gotten to the point that I don't really care about food... it hurts to eat, it makes me sick, but I keep shoveling it in.
I hate exercising. I've been trying to do couch to 5k... it hurts to run. I'm so heavy.
Ada climbed in bed with me a couple days ago and said I was so comfortable and fluffy.... hmmm.
So I finally called my aunt who's been on this medical progam for the past couple months. She's lost over 20 lbs and seems incredibly happy.
I am now part of the Medifast system... AHHHH. I swore I would never do a program. I really want to eat healthy on my own, but I've hit a time in my life that it seems like I just can't do it.

Zoe trying to help me figure out what some of 

these veggies look like

What I'm hoping to happen:
I want exercise to be easier. Running is painful when you're heavy.
I want to work with my depression. Let's  reverse this cycle from downward to upward
I want to eat healthier and get a boost at the same time
I want to play with my kids
I want to fall in love with healthy foods (my sister can make a salad sound like chocolate cake)




The reason I chose this one
I hate weight watchers because I hate counting.

My last hurrah!!! BB's classic ganache chocolate cake

I hate nutrisystem because it's all planned for you and they seem like they trick you with having food like burgers and cake when in real life you really shouldn't be gorging on those things
I like this one because it has some meals planned for you, and some you are forced to cook for yourself so you learn what's healthy to eat.
You have to go to weekly check ins to help you with any poor choices , weight plateaus, if you're going out of town strategies, etc.
It's backed by doctors... monitored etc.
The thing I hate: the price....
So You're gonna see me soon... as ada put it: When you get skinny, I'll miss the real you.
 Honey, the skinny me IS the real me!

This is most of my food for the next week... mmmm (feel the sarcasm)

Just when you thought I was capable

So, long story short, my mom has cancer. She's been doing good with everything til about 3 weeks ago. The thing about chemo is that it kills you to save you. Meanwhile, it's still killing you.
 So about three weeks ago, we were preparing to homeschool again, put the girls into sports and start our fall because Nyla's evaluation showed we will be staying in America for another 5 mo (which is fine). Ella's doing swim team and Zoe and Ada are doing ballet.
 I went shopping for school supplies, I was offered curriculum, I planned, and was feeling pretty good about everything. But then my mom got sick. Not her fault. She went into the hospital for a week and then back in again this week.
after praying and talking w my husband, we decided we needed a little less stress from teaching school, therapy and mom, soooooooo
 The girls got registered for school today. This is a humbling experience. We had to go in and explain that we couldn't prove where we live, drivers liscence doesn't work, we can't afford much... Pretty much were homeless according to the system.
School starts in one week. It's gonna be crazy! Ada has 22 in her class, Zoe: 34 and Ella :38. This will surely prepare us for something, but I can say that I'm thankful that I live in a country that my kids can go to school for free, last minute... And get a good education!
Just one more day in my crazy life!

please sir, can I have another (year)

So, I'm not so sure about this whole homeschooling thing.
Here's the latest.
Last year I homeschooled Zoe and Ella. It took a couple months, but I was right as rain with my 2 cirriculums (my fathers world, sonlight). come December , we thought we were done with schooling at home, so we had to sell the cirr. ASAP. I kinda didn't get the money I was hoping, but then again, a good family got them and i knew they would use it.
The girls went to a special school to get ready to go overseas, but when we didn't go overseas in March, I just finished up the year at home. "I mean, come on. You know we'll be in France by september".
Long story short and I'm sure to post all that on a different blog and news letter, we are still in Jacksonville. This does not upset me: I love my family and a little breather.
Our organization will not pay for homeschooling cirriculum this fall though. We will be in public school in france, so they don't see a point in paying for it in america when there's a free public alternative. I totally get that.
But in order to register for school here, we have to prove 2times that we live in our residence. We don't actually pay any bills here, dont have a florida drivers liscence etc... We can't change our residence because of our visa situation, so i have a dilimma.
Seems homeschool is a simpler viable alternative..
School Of Hard Knocks pt.2 is born again!!!
But this time we have new challenges.
*I'll be writing my own cirriculum . I do have money allotted for an online school (time4learning.com) but there needs to be a more personal interaction so  time to put my good skills to work!
*Ella told me that I'm not a real teacher because we take field trips and have real life learning and I don't make her do the same amount of worksheets that she used to do (even though she cries and screams every time I DO make her do those).... "a real teacher has a plan and schedule and something for me to do during down times".... hmmm challenge accepted. I have now not only a notebook plan but I have a board to post said schedule so the kids are NOT ALLOWED to deviate (but i am)
*I am now teaching Ella, Zoe, and Ada.... not nearly as easy
*I have to do a type of speech therapy homework with Nyla.... one more thing!
*I am teaching french to the girls (Which I 'm sure will seem like a joke once they get to france)
*I still have to have a life.
What's wierd is that I look at homeschool kids. of course there are good and bad with them... but although sometimes they seem socially inept (not all schoolers), they do have a great confidence that i want in my kids, that after a year, they still dont have.
so if I look like my hair is disheveled and I'm still wearing my jammies , it's a new fashion.
If my kids look like they've sewn their own clothes and kinda frumpy... they were the ones who wantedto learn how to sew this year at school
YAY SOHK

a chorus of tonedeaf little birdies

I am not an overly emotional person. Now that might humor my mother because I spent most of my childhood crying over every little thing, but through much mocking and shooshing I don't cry unless I'm by my lonesome.
And I hear about how people cry at commercials or cry because their kids are so cute when they sleep, but that's just not me... I cry cause I laugh so hard or I relive vicariously my painful memories of childhood bullies.
Then last week I went to a Ch*istian  arts camp. My kids did pottery, drama, blacklight, quilting, guitar, dance and much much more.... and then they learn some singing.
I sat in on practice on last friday for the production of what they learned.
These kids made me BAWL over and over again.
The sweetness of hearing children sing praises and the magnificence of thier G*d and not just sing because they had to, but mean EVERY word they sang, blew me away!
Then they recited scrip*ture. wow! They love Him and I remembered why I loved them so much...
then when all these kids saw me crying, they just kept touching me (stop crying miss ali) ... well, you know what happens when you touch a crying woman... they just KEEP crying harder... I looked like a crazy...
well if crazy is crying out of joy for the L*rd, then call me Miles Davis.
Thank you to all the amazing teachers who loved my girls and gave them interest in art of all shapes and sizes.... but most of all to DC and Kim for giving my girls a joy that I want.

unikinis and cheeseburgers

A while ago I was on a plane with Johnny and we got separated in our seats, which was fine because I planned to read all the way home anyway, until the lady who sat next to me got in the plane. I felt like I had to talk to her. then I got to the point in our conversation that I now need to make a confession.
She asked me when I was due.
Yah, say what you want, but she was so confident in her question I really didn't want to sit for however long on the plane while she apologized and got awkward, that I told her.
Not that far.
We had a 30 minute conversation about said baby that I didn't know about.
Fast forward...
I took a medicine for about a year that had the side effect of making you gain weight. So i gained over 60 lbs (I hide it relatively well). Last week I bought new shorts for fourth of July. I had not one, not two, but 3 people tell me separately that the shorts that SHOULD have fit me were ... clearing throat... quite snug. not to mention the equally tight shirt that was "my size".
I about died... see I have lost some weight since changing meds a week ago, but just takes time... time sux.
On top of that there's the lack of motivation... cause really, why should i lose weight when J*sus is just coming back soon anyway...
so tonight in my depression I went and bought a new outfit... one that fit...
I can't weight to wear it :)



it's maternity. and no I'm not pregnant.
oh and I should be so confident in my belly that really I think I'm buying a unikini next... I've seen those ladies and they seem pretty happy.

Where the monkeys touch the banana

You're probably wondering where i've been.... where the ocean meets the sun?
nah... I've  been in crazy land.
Jacksonville has been interesting..
We've done a triathalon
I've lost 12 lbs
my mom has started a new chemo.
we're teaching VBS (surprise surprise)
we're homeschooling
Nyla can say mine (a lot)
Johnny's learning french
and I've been dealing with the sneaky deps again.

you remember them! I was doing ok until the end of march... I started noticing that I was gaining an exhorbent amount of weight and I was quieter than usual. I really thought everything was fine. I even considered whether I could stop taking my meds, when it snuck up behind me.
First Johnny mentioned I didn't seem right. Then I noticed I REALLY didn't want to get off the couch. I dreaded waking up or going to bed. I couldn't concentrate to teach the girls. Every day got worse.
It finally hit me: I have the deps again! BUT i'm on happy pills.
so This past week I went to a psychiatrist. she was real nice and even took my sarcasm
(Ali, have you fallen, hit your head and lost consciousness any time lately?
Not that I can remember! bum bum bum)
I even took a genetic test to help me find meds that help and wont give me ugly side effects (like a large belly)
so here's to the crazies of the world!
May the deps ever stay in the shadows!

people I don't trust

What's the saying? Don't trust a skinny chef.

well, I don't trust 2 different types of people
people who are incredibly fit, but whenever I talk to them, they're on their way to McD's.
and people who are incredibly obese, but only talk about clean living...

And while I'm on a rager...
why can't I stop eating... I'll tell you.
It's a habit like any other, but frankly, I can stop taking drugs, but I can't stop eating...
so now I have to learn to eat the right things, right? I can eat what I want as long as it's good for me,.... where's the good for me ice cream (keep in mind I'm allergic to aspertame which is in EVERY low cal everything.).

And really, why do my children only scream when I need quiet... ti's like they can sense it. or they see me on the phone and their first thoughts are, dueling seagulls is a great game.
And they have pms when I do... it's like sympathy pains.

ok I'm done.

weak hands

I'm useless in the morning... Don't ask me to open a tough jar or hold your hand... don't ask me to do your hair because it'll be pitiful. I have no grip, see. My hands wake up so weak, and it takes time for my hands to wake up. Does this make sense to you?
Well, today I'm in the car with my mom and she's opening a bottle of water... after a minute, she just stares at the bottle. It has one of those IMpossible tops. The ones I stare at in disbelief that I could possibly NOT be able to open a simple bottle of water... am I weak...... well, this is how my mom stares at the water bottle and I'm with her
I have weak hands?
I can't even do something so simple
I sit in the waiting room while my mom starts chemo today. While I'm in the waiting room, I see people coming in and out of the elevator, struggling with weak hands to name the least of their problems.
What can I do for them?
I'm reading Kisses From Katie and she sits in her home in Uganda and just pr*ys that she would be used, and she is...
I look around where I'm at and what can I do? I feel so.... weak
Then I go on to children's rehabilitation center for Nyla's speech therapy. I look around that situation and just see disabled kids of all kinds.
What can I do?
How do I love on these people?
But I think I'll just have to pr*y as Katie did.
Just let me wake up and love on them .... you work L*rd... what can I do for you? please just show me.
maybe it's like waking up in the morning, I just have to stretch and maybe I'll find my nitch

school of hard knocks relived

SOHK is back friends... I know you missed me and my posts and pins on pinterest.
This time around has new challenges and new joys...
http://youtu.be/_Qu6d0lE1z8
This is the way I feel about being a teacher. I keep thinking that I know what I'm doing.... and I keep doing it... I'm a glutton for punishment.
So here's my challenge. I know I'm leaving in 3-6 months so thinking about school, I had to reevaluate what I was doing...
we started a computer school: time4learning.com. It's actually quite genius... and the kids really enjoy the games and are learning... well, who knows, I've only done it for a week.
But then the other day, my eldest said she wished she was at public school. I asked her why.... she said that she used to love having me as a teacher, but now I don't spend any time with her, I just put her in front of the computer...
and Zoe said the same thing when I questioned her later.
Here's my problem... i KNOW i'm leaving in 3-6 months and I have a cirriculum, but now I need to teach my kids... don't want to buy a lot of supplies because I can't take them with me... what to invest in... I could spend lots of money, but I don't have lots of money... just pretend I have none.
exciting things...
I'm teaching french now too... have no idea what I'm doing... the rabbi down the street keeps telling me to speak french in the home (that's great if we spoke french)... but it's a fun adventure to try to teach french as a foreign language.
PE....ahahahhaah... if you knew me, this is funny... but the kids are doing a triathalon... another humorous thing considering we have no money... where do we get bikes... helmets... money for the triathalon.. BUT they're doing it.
so if you need me for the next 3-6 call me in jacksonville Florida... I'll be out exercising, eating healthier.. my next post will have to be my new food pinterest pins that i've tried...
love you friends. thanks for keeping up with me...

double excitement, double the fun with....

well, not double mint gum because I'm allergic to aspertame like 50% of America.
I say double because tomorrow I'll be 33.... double 3's.
Last year I promised the unexpected and I'm pretty sure I followed through.
What have I done this year:
gained 55 lbs.... well that was unexpected (thanks old lady meds that I'll be changing soon)
lost family (another attribute to being old)
went to disney, chicago, Grand Canyon, Great wolf lodge, the amazing tour of the south East, and other sundry wonderful unexpected destinations along the way.
started homeschooling ( unexpected for all)
moved into an apartment,... and out of an apartment
learned to go with the flow (unexpected for me)
actually did pinterest things I' pinned (and I would post more of them if my camera would hook up to the computer)
became a weeeeeeee bit more computer savvy (depending on who you ask)
have read many books (only unexpected because I have 4 kids)
moved from chas to VA and soon to France and by next year I'll be moving to N. Africa

I think I've done enough unexpected things to scare an Elephant into stampeding.
What do I look forward to this year?
 I'm going to learn how to ski (better)
I'm going to lose those darn 55 lbs.... and hopefully shove them under the couch I'll be getting off of.
I'm going to eat stinky cheese
I'm going to become proficient in a new language
I'm going to make new friends
I would say I'm going to be a better mom and wife, but everyone would send me emails saying I already am and I'm not in the mood to argue....
I'm going to become computer literate
I'm going to ride a vespa
I am going to try on a uni-kini
I'm going to sing on the eiffel tower and wear a berret
I'm going to travel out of the country
I'm going to learn to cook a meat that shouldn't be eaten ... like antelope
I'm going to NOT COUPON
 I'm going to eat bread, and love it

pretty much a mid life crisis year right? except without the crisis
so what shall we call it... it's a year of mid life.... dang I hope I don't die by 66.... but then again, I'll go out with a bang , won't I .... to a year of MID LIFE!!!

what are you doing.... RUN!!!

Ella comes in my room at 11pm and sits on my bed. I start to notice that  she's moving kinda convulsive like.... until I realize
OH MY GOODNESS= she's heaving!!!
"Ella get to the bathroom"
" why? I'm not (heave) ... I'm not (heave)... I don't need t(heave)... thr(heave) up..."
"GET UP... get in that bathroom"
"I'm fine... heave heave"
"If you don't stand up, I might kill you ... I will drag you... GET OFF MY BED"
She walks out calmly, stops at the door and leans over a trashcan to barf crazy style... as she begins to super poot... (come on you know what I'm talking about.. where you strain so hard, you can't control your gas.). she runs to the bathroom and proceeds to , you know.
I open the door, "What possibly made you think you weren't going to puke? Why didn't you just go to the bathroom"
"I dunno"
Proceed to the next morning
Ella: "Hey, I'm feeling so much better. I feel great. let's get going"
Me: "not after last night"
Ella: What are you talking about? I didn't barf last night?

Can this really happen? Can a child do this in the middle of the night without REALLY knowing what's up? That's a serious body function.
And this is my week...
They said when we arrived that the school campus is small in VA and when sickness happens, it spreads... I took every precaution. sanitizer, disinfectant.... and it WONT LEAVE MY HOUSE
so before you get your panties in a bunch (I wont ask why)... I WIll overcome...
if it's the last thing to come out of me.

Snow?.... noooooo!!!

This was my reaction this morning when I opened the washing machine and found the diaper that  some dumb child OBVIOUSLY put in there (right? ok maybe it just walked in there on it's own when I put the load in while the kids were at school. couldn't possibly be my fault).
You ever done that?
As you know, maybe, you can't weed it out... I had to wash the washing machine empty, and then I stuck my clothes in the dryer and hoped that the lint trap grabbed most of it... MOST OF IT... still found baby goo, dried to some of my clothes... it was a great reminder of home

I have had a great couple weeks experiencing friends and snow, but when I'm trying to get back to real life (instead of a 5 week vaca) this was kinda a breath of fresh air... like the mistakes I always make, the things my kids always act up on are back and feels like home
which feeds into my saying, a place is not home, family is home... thanks for letting me steal that renee.

hospital-ality

First I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who was willing to host us for the past 5 weeks.
I thought it was funny that so many houses had disease and we escaped 90% of it. We had 2 girls who had a fever for less than 24 hours.
I want to talk about hospitality.
It is amazing that there is such a thing as the gift of hospitality. There are so many things I saw this trip that were so different but I would still consider to be great hospitable people.
I had some people who wanted to do EVERYTHING for us. There were some people who wanted us to feel like part of the family and pitch in. Some people had their houses decorated to the hilt, some people had very simple decorations (and maybe piles of dirty laundry everywhere for me to fold).
Some people had toothbrushes (and even one house that had robes for everyone in the family) in case we forgot and some were pulling towels out of the dryer as we got there.
No matter what I saw that they were trying to make us feel welcome at their house.... and we totally did. No ones house did we feel out of place or nervous. No one made us wish it was time to leave.
so what is hospitality and what makes it a gift?
Hospitality is making someone feel at home... and making it seem seemless. That is where the gift is.
So, thank you for your hospitality even if it included trips to the hospital for you.

Car Edition PART II

 I admit... I'm kinda a nerd...
But here's a packing list for the car.... first go to the dollar store because it's amazing.... I got these 6 mini m&m packs for a dollar... good for treats and small enough to throw across the car ....

 With the M&M's I will start with m and m graphing... it's good for all of them to learn a little something... we got comparing, adding, fractions, graphing, tasty m's and coloring all at once... even add a little tally, number learning etc... gotta take up 15 minutes right?

 I'm trying to be age appropriate... so I have dry erase boards, but nyla can't do markers if you know what I mean so I found these markers... little more expensive, but worth saving shirts and car and whatever else... the board is dollar store and they can always write on the windows too... that's gotta be 30 minutes.

 The dollar store has these crafts... seems lik boys wouldn't like them, but I 'm not convinced... the one on the left has sea creatures... it's not girly... but the "jewels" are self sticking . the board on the right is the sticky and you stick sequins... coloring board in the middle... have a contest who can make the best, but pass out awards to all of them which you can also find at the dollar store.... depending on the craftiness of your kid, this could be forever.

Fazoodles abound!!!! I found these giant fuzzy pipe cleaners at the dollar store... and they came with stickers for eyeballs... or get regular pipe cleaners and create animals... who can make a giraffe, who can rock it poppet!!!!

 These were bonuses... a box full of animals and tin foil... make foil animals, have them make oragami or something.... the creatures were on clearance at walmart.. totally worth it.

 My favorite.. magnet fun... get a pan from the dollar store and then I did splurge at Barnes and Noble... i found in the travel game section (they have one of those!!!!) magnetic puzzles... this way, they can do puzzles and they stay in the pan... for nyla there's animals... and for a treat challenge they have to do a tanagram... magnetic from B&N for 2$

So here's a backpack... a notebook of paper, crafts, fuzzy noodles, dice game, a box of crayons... and we're set!!!! Head out on the road!