Ending on a sharp note

I didn't want to say a flat note because this year has been anything but flat. But I needed something... off. Today was a WIERD day (yes, I realize that it's me saying this).
I don't want to take new years eve and describe everything that happened this year, and I refuse to be resolute for next year, but today deserves a moment.
we begin with a sleepover from 2 friends, fashion shows, homemade breakfast ( that in itself is odd)... but then I got an idea. We shall go to the beach!
And so we did... realizing it was Nyla's first REAL time on the beach. We went this summer but all we did was hold her. Today she felt the sand in her toes (and up her nose). What a way to end her year.
then we went to the Teeter. Now, that shouldn't suprise you, but hold on to your seats... I impulse shopped... a lot. we now own pizza and pop tarts and mommy lunchables and mommy drinks.
So we retreat to the house and I make dinner: spaghetti with veggie sauce, rolls and green beans. Nyla had NO witching hour, and she enjoyed being at the table. The girls sat down and demanded before dinner to get 2 rolls. I randomly said, "whoever finishes first gets the last roll"... I don't know if I've EVER seen them eat so fast... and all 3 tied. I really need to buy stock in sister shubert.
As Ada put her plate away, I mentioned, "if you put it up on the counter for me, I'll give you a green bean." She giggled and ran to eat a bean... then Zoe joined in... and then Ella... til the whole giant bowl was gone and they thanked me for giving them green beans for dinner. They even asked for an apple for dessert.
Highlights from this afternoon:
"Ada, do you want money for the job or can I pay you in gum?" she chose gum: score!
"Zoe, If you take just one sip of juice you can have another green bean" YES!
"Nyla, stop drooling in the sand and then picking it up and eating it"
" Ella, you have to go to bed early tonight" she said ok: nice!!!

So what do I look forward to this year? I have no resolutions, only expectations.
I have decided there will be more sleepovers... adult ones, kids ones, ones here, ones there, inside, outside, mock ones, ones in public places.
Also, I shall be purging: purging my house and my junk in my trunk.
I'm gonna travel... just you wait.
And even on new years eve, as people are coming to my house, I am going to wear what I like to call business casual: pajama bottoms with a nice shirt.
Watch out for it, and hopefully Jesus will come back as the mayan calendar ends, and I might just blog a lot more (I'm about to start 2 more blogs: you'll understand soon)
Good night stars, good night moon, goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Good night nyla who can now climbthe stairs. Good night people everywhere- 2011

Dentist Ditz

I love my teeth... yah, that's a wierd way to start.

Well, I had to say that before I pointed out that I haven't been to the dentist since Zoe was born. Hey, kids born, and other things prevented it. ok, I know, not an excuse.

Every day johnny and I said we should set up an appt. to go get our teeth cleaned. Then the dentist started calling ME. see, he noticed I hadn't seen him in a while and he started checking up on me and I avoided talking to him. Finally, I answered the phone.

Isnt' that funny! It took my dentist Calling ME. God knew I needed this.

This person on the other side offered a free check up at my dentist... so I prepared... extra flossing and brushing. I got a babysitter, I was set.

Then I left my house... wait, where is the dentist, I couldn't remember.

I tried looking up the address and couldn't find it. I tried driving to where it was and the building was closed down... I was so confused.

I made my poor babysitter search my phone records for the # that called me... and then I called it.

It was my chiropractor trying to talk me into spending more money at him... not the dentist that had been calling me for weeks...

sooo, I'm an idiot and I didn't go to the dentist... well, there's always next year.

Martha Stewart doesn't live here

And neither does Santa. This year we had to prioritize. I HATE rushing over Christ-mas. The point is not to spend all my money, run errands all day, cram something into every minute, and pass out in a bad mood (swing) at the end of the day. I like Christ-mas way too much. Yet, we went out of town the weekend after Thanksgiving and suddenly we came home to the entire world already decorated for such a "jolly" holiday.

The stress began.

Then I began to be the party pooper. Johnny decorated the front of our house and about 2 weeks later, he said he was ready to climb the roof to put more lights up. See, we like to be the griswolds. we go the day after Christ-mas, collect as much lights as we can and decorate even MORE the next year. But what did I say? "Johnny don't do it. it's too late. I'd rather you hang out with us than decorate the house anymore." I think I saw a tear come out of johnnys eye.

that same week we had lent our christ-mas tree to ella's ballet company and finally got it back. we set it up and as johnny pulled out the decorations, what did I say? "let's not decorate the tree. we're doing advent anyway, let's just let the kids make paper decorations and we'll just turn on the lights" yah, I got sad faces from everyone.

Everyone keeps calling me for decoration ideas, cookies, gift ideas, cooking ... and um,we're taking it slow. We tried to go to the festival of lights, but 2 hours later we decided it'd be better to just tour neighborhoods....

you know what? Touring neighborhoods was more fun. we've had lots of hot chocolate, snowman poop, and learned to wrap presents. We've been raising money for samaratin's purse to provide doctor supplies. We drew names for our sissies to make home made presents. Each night I take one girl and we work on their present. We're doing a new kind of advent with games and time together. We've made ornaments, and laid under the stars. I think this is going to be the best Christ-mas ever!

We didn't need martha's ideas, or Santa's business all we needed was a book and a savior to be born... what a gift and a joy

sleep is for the weak... and I'm oh so weary!

Netflix just got this show called The Walking Dead, and I totally relate to this show from all angles. I feel like people see me and shy away and at the same time i'm stumbly...

See, when I was a kid, I thought for a long time my mom was so dumb for putting the TV in my room (didn't she know I was watching johnny carson and poltergeist?), but a couple years ago she broke it to me that I never slept anyway, so she put the TV in my room to keep me from waking her up. Smart mom.

In college, I required I swear maybe 3 hours sleep. Ask my roomates. I might have crashed for 12 hours every few months, but most of the time, I just couldn't sleep, nor did I need to.

When Johnny and I got married, it frustrated him that I never slept, but he NEEDED to for med school. He would ask me to lie in bed with him until he slept (which was around 5 minutes) and then I'd get up for a few more hours.... but over time, reading in bed, waiting for him to sleep, would put me to sleep.

over time, I grew to love sleep.

I remember my first nap. I was 19 and my friend Travis took a nap every day and talked me into it... I couldn't wake up, hated it!... now I beg for naps.

So about a month ago I got insomnia. after a couple weeks I started taking Ambien... after a week of that not working, I took Ambien CR.. alternating between not sleeping at all and having a hard time not sleeping for 24 hours straight. You've probably seen me... i kind of stare off into the distance. it takes a few minutes to process answers... my hair looks a little, um, crazy. Ifeel bad that I can't show up for things, and when I do, I'm useless...

And then last night... yes, I woke up 12 times, but I could fall back asleep afterward... I felt ALMOST refreshed last night... so nice. So, here's to tonight.. may I sleep and

The Deps

I'm talking about the word, depression. Maybe I should have called it Depths, but then again, we're in the south. Depression is a dreaded word. I'm not talking about just for the person dealing with depression, but just the mention of depression and it makes everyone shift in their seat, look at the floor and struggle for words. It's uncomfortable.

Everyone deals with it differently after the initial shock too. For those who have friends who are depressed, he or she might give the pity awww lip ( this is a common face given by Dr. Drew), there might be the ignore (I'm sorry, I didn't hear you), or the distraction method. That one is my cup of tea. I don't like hearing people hurting, so I will find anything to help them smile.

But as one who struggles with the deps, being the one with it has a diferent feeling. It's not just sadness, or loneliness, its angering too. See when you get sad or lonely, it feels good to have a person come along side you and take you out for coffee, or say hey, or just acknowledge your existence. When you are in the deps, people are your saving grace and your painful reminder. loneliness doesn't go away with someone there, but you feel a little paranoia that they don't want to be near you if they don't call.

Here: let me give you a typical situation. I wake up and feel "down", depish if you will. I don't want my kids to touch me; I almost feel like they'll catch it. But they get upset that I am not loving them, so I feel bad that I can't liven the mood. This doesn't resolve.

Later in the day, I wonder why no one has called me today. Is it because they don't care about me?

Magically, the phone rings and it's a friend... there's lots of awkward silence as I struggle for words that aren't complaints or talking about the dreaded dep word. The whole time, I wonder if they can tell. Every time they change the subject I wonder if they're tired of talking to me and that's why they change subject, I feel like they don't hear me, they ignore me. Every time my kids jump in the conversation and we get distracted and forget what we're talking about it "must"be because they weren't really caring what I was saying in the first place... this conversation is exhausting emotionally ( where from your point of view, we're just catching up from our conversation, like, 2 days ago and you think it's going swimmingly). I just want this talk to end and lay down, but if I get off the phone, then I have to go back to that unresolved conversation with my kids about my lack of love for them.

oh and what happens if I do tell you that I'm struggling that day? You've asked me after all to tell you if I'm having a bad day. Sad lip, awww, "what can I do?", general pity, ignoring, more awkward silence, and then when you finally change the subject after I've vented it all out, I am going to think you're changing the subject because I made you incredibly uncomfy, it's my fault and I will STRUGGLE to make it better for the rest of the SHORT conversation we're going to have... and when you say very innocently that you need to go, it's going to be, in my head, because you hate me....

Can't you figure out why people with depression want to sleep and be alone... just being awake is draining... and not just from situations like this, but going to the store, getting things done around the house, and EVERY hypothetical running through our heads.

For those of us who have the hope of Christ there's an added war. Shouldn't I be able to deal with this with the power of Christ? Is there something wrong with me if I'm on meds (no)? Why do Christians always put on the good face (everyone does)? and the CONSTANT telling to myself that all these emotions and thoughts are lies from Satan and "renewing my mind".

Just typing this hurts. This is the longest amount of time Ive ever spent in typing a post.

and it's cause i'm thinking about how people are going to react to this...

let me reiterate, I love the distraction method. Just tell me about your day, you carry the conversation for a few minutes. Tell me how YOURE feeling, doing, hopes , dreams, what you want to be "when you grow up". Say something utterly ridiculous. Have coffee (if I drank coffee) with me and go to a movie or something. Please don't avoid hanging out with me because "what will happen if I can't do all these things and we have awkward silences". Then my fears aren't misguided are they? :) And if you have friends or are struggling with THE DEPS yourself, now you know how to pray. Pray that Satan can be silenced for a minute. Pray that sleep is restful. That God will work in SPITE of me, and eventually with me. And if you plan on hugging, do it! not out of obligation, but do it without hesitation... and most likely, I'll do it back.

Essence of perfection

Took everyone to school on Wednesday and then.... it was just me and Nyla alone all morning. I attempted the beach. The nice thing about a baby that can't go anywhere is that you don't need anything but a towel. I brought a chair for myself and we were off.

I laid her under the pier and sat my chair in the sun next to it. AND I READ A BOOK. Now, I'm not talking like I read a word, looked up to check, forgot what word I read and reread and reread and reread... She fell asleep on the beach. I READ A BOOK!

I looked up at that timultious ocean and was captivated.

My first thought was, "Does God orchestrate every wave that hits the pier because it's like a symphony... beautiful".

Then the funny things I notice as a people watcher started to take place. The old lady wearing a roxy bikini 2 sizes too small SEARCHING the beach for loose driftwood that she was capable of carrying. There was a surfer ARGUING with the fisherman on the pier to which side he belonged on. Then on the nearly empty beach, a man felt the overwhelming need to sit an armsreach from me, literally. I heard the hippy from the north explaining to his 11 year old how she was responsible to clean the beach for the next generation.

I loved watching and talking to passersby as they oohed and ahhhed about Nyla sleeping on the beach.

For a mom of 4, it was a perfect day.

So many things can be taken for granted on a daily basis, but perspective can make the difference between complaining that Irene wiped out the beach and leaving completely refreshed.

Proverbs 15 :15 says something to the effect of " a miserable attitude leads to a miserable life; a happy heart leads to a song in your day."

I loved the Song in my day, it was

August 28, 2011

That is all I can name it for it was a day like ... well , most days, but on crack.

we woke up that bright sunday morn with Johnny gone. He left before the sun came up to round at the hospital.

We were getting dressed EARLY. Ella asked so innocently, " mom, can I paint my nails". Why yes, darling of mine, all polite and responsible. Could you Please do it in the bathroom.

Zoe: mom, can I paint my nails?

Well, if Ella would like to paint your nails she may, but I can't right now; I'm feeding the baby.

After feeding Nyla and cleaning up breakfast, Zoe comes into the kitchen.

Zoe: Ella says she needs cotton balls to clean up her nails. (why would this EVER worry me, she's being a girl)

After I give her the cotton balls, I continue my cleaning. Ella comes in.

Ella: Mom, now I was doing my nails... (I kinda blacked out at this time because the story went on and on with no end or point until I heard...) now it's all over the bathtub, but it's not my fault, I told them not to"

Wait, what?

I go into the bathroom and Zoe is in the tub scrubbing with nail polish remover and cotton balls the 2 bottles of nailpolish taht are spread over ALL the tub. Ada is sitting outside the tub pouring another bottle of nailpolish over her hand in attempt to paint her nails. Ella, meanwhile, sits back down on the floor and proceeds to go back to painting her nails.

FREEEEZE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Zoe: I'm cleaning up the mess?

WHO"S MESS? I thought Ella needed cotton balls for her nails.

Ella: No I told her to tell you that so you wouldn't worry, but she's got it under control now (no she didn't. she was, however, about to pass out from the fumes)... I told them they shoudln't paint their nails, but they never listen to me.

After the nail fiasco, we went to church. Worked in the nursery, loved the babies, had a lunch potluck for community groups and caught up with a friend. And then we went home to prepare for Zoe and Ada's first day of school.... baths, pack up, oh and sit down with the white board to review daily responsiblities (also known as chores around the house).

Favorite line: I say, "Ada, you're in charge (of cleaning the bedroom... now I put that in perintheses because I only got that first part out of my mouth before zoe said...)

Zoe: Why does Ada get to be in charge?!!

An hour later we finally understood.

And this is just another typical day at the Campbell house...

Silence is supposed to be golden

I'm pretty sure it's just awkward.

I took Ella to the first day of 3rd grade yesterday. we were there 10 minutes early and she was the last to show up to class. Everyone was silent and doing paperwork. They all gave me the evil eye, lke I was completely interrupting. I whispered, "I will see you after school" and snuck away.

Ella came home, said she loved her teacher, and went straight to do homework. She was begging me to do it. When I told her she couldn't practice cursive in the bumpy car, she actually got upset at me.

I figured it must have been first day jitters, so I got all 3 sisters and myself dressed again this morning to take her to class. Well, she wasn't last, but they were still sitting 15 minutest early, working silently on who knows what. I felt wierd just walking into the class, so I mouthed "I love you" across the room and headed out.

She loves it. Loves studying, working, reading... and I keep hearing people writing, "179 days till next summer" and I'll admit: I love school. My daughter and I are just white and nerdy. I was the same way in school growing up and couldn't stand being late (except second grade, I had issues with that teacher/ grade)...

so watch me push up my glasses

My day with the girls

This seems to be a typical day for me... well, not really. we're not usually action packed, but we did everything because school was getting ready to start.
It started with Dropping Zoe off at a birthday party. Now I had been up all night because the baby was SCREAMING. So, that meant I had 2 hours to party with my 3 while Zoe partied with her bestie, Sierra.
First we went to the pet store. ok, does anyone really want to buy a Fancy pet rat? Is there really such a thing? We also saw kittens that all the girls picked out their fave and gave me grief why boots wasn't going to get a new friend. and then Ada named all the animals in the store, assuming that I would buy her one. My favorite line from the pet store: I see 2 hamsters. That one's name is chedderton ... and I shall name that one Jim.
next was wonderworks.... wow , that's a store not meant for the faint of heart. My fave there: instead of a boucy ball, they had a giant blow up dog that you sat on, holding his ears and bounce.
Finally time for lunch. McCalisters... mmmmm. I used my B1G1 coupon... and we ate "teddy bears in a pool" (teddy grahams in apple sauce).
Sound boring? Well, after we picked up Zoe, it was time to go to the cosmetology school to get the girls hair cut.
We met some friends and her 3 girls , kinda to buffer the amount of time it would take.
So, in like a half an hour, all 6 girls had gotten their hair cut and my friend was getting hers cut. She said, "go ahead and get your hair cut and I'll hold nyla if you need".
2 1/2 hours later.... my hair was done getting cut. I got the sweet girl who neglected to tell me she was DEATHLY afraid of cutting my hair. She WOULD NOT take a cut without her teacher there (who had other girls to round on, so you can tell how long it took).
She of course picked the cut she'd always wanted to try, but didn't even know how to do it.
Highlights (no pun intended): "Have you ever considered letting me color your hair" ... not today
(for the 10th time) :" I dont know what my guide is. I think Ill just cut here."
"Her hair is just so curly, I can't see anything. Should I just cut it off?"
"it's just so thick, can you do it"
Teacher: "the kids are getting restless. time to hurry up"
student: "stop putting pressure on me. I'm trying. Here you take the scissors. wait, they're stuck on my fingers"
After it was all over, nyla had fallen asleep under the cape, the girls are running like CRAZY people, and getting all their nails done, I am happy to say that my hair isnt all bad. and I dind't pay much"
And then just to ice the cake, Johnny decided to take the girls to chuck e. cheese and we hit the jackpot... twice.
And that's my typical day... picks to follow

Get a job, kid!

I love Jobs... Always have. You can't tell me what you do for a living and i'm like... oh well (best eeyore voice). I will always be excited. I like to see what can keep our country running.

I watch Dirty Jobs... I think all people should do a "menial" job. Our country couldn't survive if we didn't have these people. We wouldn't have indoor plumbing, clean water, clean dirt to grow our organic veggies etc. if these people didn't clean crud out of pipes, under ground, inside claustrophobic places, and upside down.

I love factory workers. I think they're exciting. I love to do jobs where I have to pay attention, but at the same time my brain can fly out the window. Without people who work hard sorting, separating, sewing, etc. we wouldn't have pretty much anything in our house.

I love doctors (well, I'm married to one) . Now, I can NEVER remember what specialty ANY doctor is in (as a dr. wife that's so bad) but I found out there is such a thing the past couple weeks as an INTERNAL physical therapist... who thinks to do something like that. Without these people we wouldn't have vaccine's, cures, we'd all have diseases, germaphobia and mostly dead.

I love women (and men) who can sell things out of their house (not over the phone although props to those people constantly putting up with hang ups and cusssing) like AVON, initials inc., premier jewelry, even taste of home. Without these people we'd have a whole lot more babysitters and a lot less pretty faces/ bags.

I love nursery workers, teachers and anyone who works with children. What a gift, honor, and picture into their heart... Without social workers, boys and girls volunteers, nannies etc where would our kids be.

I could go on and on.... you will never find me saying what a crappy job. Maybe it was because my mom and dad didn't have typical jobs... I always think about what I could be. I want my kids to not be limited by a computer society that makes them potentially unhappy. Some friends I have do computer programming and you have to be so smart...and patient... it makes me proud, but if my kid wants to be a car reconstructor or work for QVC that's cool , as long as they stick to their morals. I want to see them come up with a job that they see a need, and can come up with a product.

I have friends/ aquaintances that range from military (nuclear subs, helicoptor pilot/ mechanic, and A-Team), to people who are seamstresses. professional bodybuilders, wrestlers, dancers, trainers, horticulturalists, teachers, radio, TV, Broadway, Opera singer, mom, and so much. so if you have an awesome job... share it. I'd love to talk about it, pass it on, introduce my kids to you and thank you for making this country so great.

I like to Barter

I write this for my friend who's mom passed away this week. I don't say mother, because they were closer than that.

My friend is about to have a baby in a month or so, and it reminded me of when my dad passed away 2 months before Ada was born. Now, granted, these are completely different circumstances, but once the memories start, it's hard for me to plug them up.

My dad and I finally became close near the end of his life, and some of the best memories cam from the time my children started to show up. He invested SO much into them and I am happy that Ella got to spend the time she could with him. It's sad that Zoe was too young to know him, and Ada/ Nyla never will, but there are things to remember.

My dad wasn't there when I was born, but with my children, he was a full supporter. He drove me to the hospital, sat with me, and was the last to leave behind me on my way out (stepping out during the gross parts like pushing). He never said a word , except to hand me the bullet when it was time to bite it, or the occasional coke to keep me "hydrated". But there was something to be said about his dedication to my girls and my nieces/nephews.

So when he died, I wasn't prepared for what was going to happen with Ada. It was bittersweet and oddly lonely.

So as I think about my friend having her baby without her mom around, I pray for her. I pray the stress of the situation doesn't hurt her. I pray that she takes joy in the time her other children were given and she would be able to comfort others with her actions. As others theology doesn't hold up, and she doesn't feel like talking, but wants company anyway, I pray that others are sensative to sit, distract, speak truth, and give.

I don't cry for her mother, however. She's finally not in pain, loving her long-awaited time with her Daddy. As the song says, she traded her sorrow, shame, pain, and blame for the joy of the Lord and I'm all for bartering. So, I love you friend.

stubborness is a gift and exercise is an choice

So I would NEVER admit that I'm strong willed, but for those of you who doubt me, I will give you the benefit of my doubt.
I would also say that I refuse to be put in a box, which can be construed wrong. I will not allow myself to fall into those nasty statistics. I will fight every day to do what I know is right, even if it means against myself. I can't believe that God is only what people make him out to be, and I try my darndest to finish well.
That doesn't mean I don't suck in the middle. People have told me all my life what I can and can't do, what I can and can't be, and who I should and shouldn't associate with. Now this could totally lead into other conversation about God and about parenting/ marriage, but tonight is exercise.
I hope this will encourage you.
I hate exercise. Never liked it. I don't run (just ask my old trainer brianna : she's a FB friend). I never could finish the races at field day at school. But when it was something I could handle, I pushed my hardest. I made the swim team... I tried out for soccer and volleyball. I did swing dancing and roller blading, but ask me if I'm in shape: never.
I have been blessed with reasonable genes. My dad was a skinny one (well, for a long time anyway). My mom was a thin mint (she says until she had me). So child after child was easy to bounce back... until This time around (I will not blame Nyla).
I have no will power... I love chocolate, I love caffeine, I love fried foods..... just thinking about it makes me hoonngry! So when my 6 weeks was up with Nyla, Johnny asked me to work out... no thanks... ok fine, I'm at my maximum weight and I refuse to be in the statistic of overweight/ obesity. But I have no motivation.
I will say that I'm trying though. I am now down 6 lbs... no big woop: don't expect me to show you a before/ after pic, but I'm happy. And I really think I'm here frankly because I'm trying. I don't keep a great diet, I don't push hardcore with Tony Horton, but I do something. I figure walking is better than sitting on my couch, one glass of water is better than none etcc... and as I go, I change that thought to 2 glasses is better than one, and dancing with the kids is better than watching TV... on and on till something is done.
So right now, I still have no motivation. I'm stubborn in my eating habits, but I walk to Bi-lo (my treat is to walk down the icecream isle on my way out, actually for the AC) then I walk back home, singing really really loudly. I do P90X (the ones I can) and I juice. And when I watch Ella, who is the defnition of strong-willed, I smile. I hope she's like me and she won't live by that name. I hope she'll reach beyond the names the kids/ adults call her (especially what I call her) and be BIG. As my mom and I discussed:
"Mom, she's not strong-willed, we will call her determined, very determined."
"ok"
"And one day mom, she'll be determined for God and not to do drugs"
"What happens when she's determined TO do drugs?"
"shut up."

I'm not labeling her that way... and I'll pray against it just in case.

spontaneity used to be my strongsuit

My trip to Atlanta.
I had to plan in advance. Once upon a time, you could call me up and say, "let's go take a road trip" and i was on it. But this time around, I have 4 kids.
I called all my relatives/ friends and no one was in town, so alas, this planned-unplanned trip was going to be at a hotel. I chose wisely: it was a hotel room with 2 full beds, a queen pullout, and a partition in between. I figure, Nyla's in a pack n play, ella and I would share, and zoe and Ada would share, and Robbin (if she DARED to join us) would get the queen pullout by herself.
We left when we woke up.. I packed extra just in case my kids peed in their seats (you never know)... 20 minutes into the ride, zoe complains about a pain in her side. I figure she's just got to poop. She makes me pull over and help her on the side of the road. Well, it's one particular spot on her lower right quadrant. Can anyone guess what I think it is? I'm like, well, we'll reconsider in an hour when we get to columbia. She starts crying harder and harder, holding her side... i'm speeding, starting to freak out. 2 minutes before I'm supposed to turn off, she just starts staring out the car intently. I figure, maybe she's in shock or something.
Zoe Are you ok?
Yah, I feel much better... uhhhh ok.
I'm sorry I have a schedule to keep. I didnt pull over till we were supposed to at 10am in columbia. I didn't pull over again till I had to feed the baby at 1 (no you don't get a snack or lunch til then)... and then I rolled RIGHT into ikea.
We actually had a pretty good time shopping, talking, eating sweedish meatballs... then we decided to go to H&M.
It seemed to go well (despite the fact the meters on the road were 3$ an hour!!!!!!) but as we went to leave we see a ticket on Robbin's car. We check the meter and it still has 5 minutes on it... yep, she got a ticket for letting the meter run out... huh? We call the meter people (4 minutes left) and they promise that they'll come as soon as possible... oh wait, they came as the meter ran out... she called the manager and anyone else who was bored... finally by 11pm, they promised she could rip up the ticket (after checking the computers etc)
we arrive at our hotel... oh did you know you're not guaranteed your room when you book through hotels.com? We were given this AWESOME room with 1 bed (yes all 4 of us slept in it.... tightly)... and this shower that I can only assume they bought from a hospital.
Meanwhile they also booked a family reunion and some sort of convention so there was yelling/ slamming doors way into the night ( I heard an alarm at 2:30am as a man said, ok timer's up, go to your room).
Next day was aquarium day... oh wait, the line was like a 2 hr wait to get in , so....... off to the world of coke we go. So tired by the time we were done, we walked to our car at the train yard and hugged goodbye...
added bonus: got lost downtown for an hour so the kids didn't get to eat lunch until 3pm... oh and we were kicked out of our hot breakfast (which consisted of hot english muffins/ after toasting) for not having proper shoes at 8am... all in all.. a memorable spontaneous event for the books!!

sing along: rise and shine and....

so we went to the movies and watched Ramona and Beazus. I just cried the whole movie. Why you ask? What a sweet reminder and conviction at the same time.
I have been such a perfectionist lately. Now, you might not realize this because my house looks like a whirlwind of nasty, and I've been debbie downer, but adding a 4th girl to the house, multiplies everything exponentially and I've been super-serious trying to make everything work. I want summer to be fun and babies to be trained and young-uns to be educated and still have everything I want to do and oh, yah, I'll add a couple new things to my life...
And in being this perfectionist, I've lost sight. I've been thankful, yes, but I've also been angry and not myself. Ramona and beazus reminded me that things are only what you make it. Only you can make things fun.
this is what i've been teaching ella for like a year now. She sits every afternoon talking about how bored she is, or if something is done that she didn't want to do, she gets so upset and never enjoys it because she's too busy pouting. For instance, we went to fireworks, but she didn't want to be outside because it was hot, so even though we had friends and were at a park etc, she didn't have "any fun" because it wasn't what SHE wanted to do. My response: it's only as fun as you make it.
so in honor of such a cute movie I shall write a few things I've always believed about a day.
1. once in a while, you should laugh at something that's not necessarily funny. like taxes or mud on the walls.
2. When you laugh, you should definitely throw your head back. how funny could it be if you don't?
3.it's ok to do something not your age.
4. when you hear a song that you know atleast a couple words to or the beat is good, dance, and occasionally sing it at the top of your lungs.
5. Atleast once a year, dress up. Now , this means different things to different people, but dress up.
6. As a mom, you are entitled on the first and last day of school to embarrass your child and all in carpool and to do something that would have gotten YOU in trouble if you went to that school.
7. take time to smell the roses or think outside the box... time is precious, but will make much better memories if you do.
8.if your child asks you what you want to be when you grow up, say something way off base like : I wanna be the guy who alphabetizes books at the bookstore. that way they think about all the things THEY could become.
9.If your child isn't creative, be creative for them. If you aren't creative, let them teach you.
and 10. make up bedtime stories. even if they're incredibly boring, your kids will appreciate it in time. we had the adventures of Princess Bella and Aunt Shmally... they always found an animal that was turned some outrageous color and the only way to fix it was some weird adventure.

So, when I get frustrated (as of late) that there's not enough time and too much laundry. When i'm tired of coloring, and puzzles suck. When I just want them to stop fighting. I think as an old lady, I'll go in my room and dress like I did in the decade I was born and walk outside (with my children) to water the plants... see what happens.