I know you're not supposed to tell people when you go out of town , so that theifs don't steal my junk, but 1. grandmas and 4 girls are hard to all snag at once and 2. if thiefs are reading my blog then I've got other things to think about.
We leave tomorrow for Africa.
My husband asked me years ago, if we could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? I really thought he was asking me for the 10 year anniversary (which has passed). I said without a pause: Scottland!
And now we leave for 2 weeks with no children to Africa. No safaris, no amazing race, just backpacking and living in other people's houses for 2 weeks.
I have friends who live in other countries happily, but this is definitely a good culture shock for me. I'm just hoping I get to experience a squatty potty (and test out my legs of steal book). Some people have threatened the eyeball snack on me... I'll let the human vacuum, johnny handle that one.
I keep getting asked what we're doing and the answer is: I dont know. I don't know if we'll move there, or if we'll even sight see. I don't know who we'll meet or how we'll get there... my goal realy this week is just to get out of the country and I plan on achieving it. Otherwise, I go whereever! So be excited for us! 2 weeks to "renew" our marriage... I use quotes because I feel like we've just gotten married anyway, so I'll love on him pretty well. 2 weeks to regroup from my kids... yah, I'll be grabbing other people's kids while I'm there I'm sure. and I'll come back with an elephant and maybe a tajin.
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Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Christians suck!
I was thinking the other day about the first person that ever friended me on Facebook. He was a guy who I went to middle/highschool with, he was a Christian at the time, and has since renounced God. I remember that I was so intimidated by him in middle school. He seemed SO confident in Christ. Almost to the point that when he would catch me doing something "wrong" I was waiting for the turn-or-burn talk. Funny thing was: I was a Christian too.
I really thought I was a good Christian too. I went to church, I helped out in the youth group, I was "zealous"... until I joined facebook.
I had another friend from middle/ highschool who has never probably gone into a church and when I talked to him for the first time on facebook, he pointed out all the horrible things I never remembered doing at school. I was struck by how much perception is important.
You are being watched.
I'm not saying that I wasn't following God or that I wasn't really a christian back then. But there are 2 sides to every coin.
Christians: need to realize that what you do when no one looks, matters. That you do not know EVERYTHING and God's wisdom is not the same as worldly wisdom. What I mean by that is the gospel sounds foolish. Blood covering sins, sacrifices, giving your heart to what seems like an invisible force, sounds reallllly foolish. But to someone who understands, identifying a source and standard for morality, knowing we will never attain that standard and realizing Jesus gave his time,blood, sweat and tears for me to come before that standard confidently AND humbly... is the power of God. Being willing to lay your reputation and face on the line even when you think no one is looking matters. And knowing how to ask forgiveness does too.
I think our confidence in Christ alone easily sways to cockiness ... I'm free and you're not na na na na na.... na. We become hypocrites to the very thing we should be falling on our faces for... and be thankful that we were pulled off the edge of the cliff, grabbing someone else's hand on the edge on our way up.
Those who don't want anything to do with God: Please understand that I'm only human. What a cruddy excuse, but true. When I was young, I trully thought I was invincible and in that I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of feelings, no matter what my intentions.
If I've said it once, I'll say it 1000 times: God is not people. I let people down all the time by accident, I say things that I think are joking or friendly, but you see as a Christian being judgemental. I may even be an ass because I'm having a tough day or waking up grumpy or on my period... BUt God doesn't have those problems... He does things with a purpose and plan. Why did your mom not let you play in the street as a child... it was so unfair because all the other kids were doing it and you were being made fun of for not. You had never been hurt before... but she did it to protect you. And when the one child did get hit by a car, you blamed mom for letting them play in the street.... same with life. God does things we don't understand and we blame him if it goes wrong or right... but his wisdom is not ours.
So what did I say to the guys I'm talking about. The one who did not know Christ I apologized. I didn't give excuse because there is none. I was an ass. I hurt him, even if I didn't mean to. and the fact he remembered it 20 years later proves that my life had an affect on him.
For the guy who was a christian but is now not one, I apologize too. I hurt him thinking he'll understand he's a christian, but it built up to a point that he walked away. God was not real enough. Science won out or logic or something... And I'm not saying God does not understand science and logic, but like I said, God 's wisdom isn't ours, and when it doesn't click- I can't expect him to stay.
My thought is, Christians can suck, we do it all the time. Those who are supposed to support me, fight with me all the time. Those I'm supposed to see as a family sometimes make fun of me or walk away because out of sight, out of mind. I have christian friends who tear people down and lord over everyone their superiority... none of this is right, but that's not why I'm a christian. I'm a christian because I know I suck. I know that I can never not suck (my mom informs me all the time about my lack of mercy toward people: t's true), but God is real and has changed me over the years , not out of my own self-discipline, but because I let him work with me and I have seen my life change over hte years. Things that I could never do myself with habits or loving or anger... those things have changed because of God and i give him full credit. Please forgive me for sucking back then, and I can't wait to see how I unsuck in the future.
I really thought I was a good Christian too. I went to church, I helped out in the youth group, I was "zealous"... until I joined facebook.
I had another friend from middle/ highschool who has never probably gone into a church and when I talked to him for the first time on facebook, he pointed out all the horrible things I never remembered doing at school. I was struck by how much perception is important.
You are being watched.
I'm not saying that I wasn't following God or that I wasn't really a christian back then. But there are 2 sides to every coin.
Christians: need to realize that what you do when no one looks, matters. That you do not know EVERYTHING and God's wisdom is not the same as worldly wisdom. What I mean by that is the gospel sounds foolish. Blood covering sins, sacrifices, giving your heart to what seems like an invisible force, sounds reallllly foolish. But to someone who understands, identifying a source and standard for morality, knowing we will never attain that standard and realizing Jesus gave his time,blood, sweat and tears for me to come before that standard confidently AND humbly... is the power of God. Being willing to lay your reputation and face on the line even when you think no one is looking matters. And knowing how to ask forgiveness does too.
I think our confidence in Christ alone easily sways to cockiness ... I'm free and you're not na na na na na.... na. We become hypocrites to the very thing we should be falling on our faces for... and be thankful that we were pulled off the edge of the cliff, grabbing someone else's hand on the edge on our way up.
Those who don't want anything to do with God: Please understand that I'm only human. What a cruddy excuse, but true. When I was young, I trully thought I was invincible and in that I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of feelings, no matter what my intentions.
If I've said it once, I'll say it 1000 times: God is not people. I let people down all the time by accident, I say things that I think are joking or friendly, but you see as a Christian being judgemental. I may even be an ass because I'm having a tough day or waking up grumpy or on my period... BUt God doesn't have those problems... He does things with a purpose and plan. Why did your mom not let you play in the street as a child... it was so unfair because all the other kids were doing it and you were being made fun of for not. You had never been hurt before... but she did it to protect you. And when the one child did get hit by a car, you blamed mom for letting them play in the street.... same with life. God does things we don't understand and we blame him if it goes wrong or right... but his wisdom is not ours.
So what did I say to the guys I'm talking about. The one who did not know Christ I apologized. I didn't give excuse because there is none. I was an ass. I hurt him, even if I didn't mean to. and the fact he remembered it 20 years later proves that my life had an affect on him.
For the guy who was a christian but is now not one, I apologize too. I hurt him thinking he'll understand he's a christian, but it built up to a point that he walked away. God was not real enough. Science won out or logic or something... And I'm not saying God does not understand science and logic, but like I said, God 's wisdom isn't ours, and when it doesn't click- I can't expect him to stay.
My thought is, Christians can suck, we do it all the time. Those who are supposed to support me, fight with me all the time. Those I'm supposed to see as a family sometimes make fun of me or walk away because out of sight, out of mind. I have christian friends who tear people down and lord over everyone their superiority... none of this is right, but that's not why I'm a christian. I'm a christian because I know I suck. I know that I can never not suck (my mom informs me all the time about my lack of mercy toward people: t's true), but God is real and has changed me over the years , not out of my own self-discipline, but because I let him work with me and I have seen my life change over hte years. Things that I could never do myself with habits or loving or anger... those things have changed because of God and i give him full credit. Please forgive me for sucking back then, and I can't wait to see how I unsuck in the future.
Monday, February 6, 2012
how can I be expected to not break the rules when I can't even remember them?
So do you remember the movie fight club (oops, darn. first rule...) when he falls asleep and his alter ego goes out and forms an army without his knowledge. I feel like that today. I seriously think that the reason I'm always tired is because my alter ego comes out when I'm napping and does things that I can't possibly remember.
or maybe I just black them out because , as I told Zoe's teacher today, I'm an overachiever.
I got the priveledge of driving my girls to school today which I never do (funny, I think some of the moms get the idea that I don't exist). When I was dropping of Zoe, her teacher said, "you ready to make pinwheels?" Say what? Did I say that... didn't we decide not to, or did I say yes and just forget? so I also got the priveledge of running to walmart super quick.
Highlight of my day: teaching 4 year olds how to make pinwheels. Favorite pinwheel: Reo's which I think I left him alone with the scissors too long. Most excited: I think his name was LeLand. He had obviously never used a hole punch before and got WAY to excited when it worked it's "magic".
When I was done, I ran off to Sams to shop for Ada's birthday party this weekend and while I contemplated "cotton tails" (cheese balls), a friend found me holding the can staring off into space ( I blame my alter ego) and gloriously knocked me back into reality with a .96 cent pretzel. hoorah!
I rushed back to the house to drop off the goods before I picked everyone up from school, when I saw my sweet neighbor who Ada was DYING to invite her 25 year old daughter to her birthday party... she said yes... how sweet! .... but I digress.... must run back to school...
Wait, did I have a conversation yesterday with a mom who informed me that she NEEDED to bring her sons birthday cupcakes to school on Ada's birthday so she didn't wait so long that her son thought she was a bad mom... so what did that say about me?
So, I had to explain that to Ada's teacher... ok.
Off to go pick up Ella from school.
And here's where it gets interesting. we go to Harris Teeter while Ella is at Ballet and Ada is telling me about what she learned at school. A dentist came to the school to talk about brushing teeth and he let her know that if you eat too much candy, your teeth turn black... 20 minutes later we're checking out and the checkout girl has a couple rotted teeth... sweet Ada: " you must have never learned how to brush your teeth!" uhhhh.... thank you for my groceries (you're pretty)
We pick up Ella and on the way out the parking lot, Ada runs out into the middle of the street , in front of a car and jumps in a puddle. I'm running to yell at her, when the car rolls down the window and says, " you're such a busy mom. It's ok, she belongs in the water"
oh yes, did I forget to tell you that Ada had insisted on wearing a mermaid costume all afternoon and was screaming, I can't breathe! until she jumped in the puddle and sighed in relief?
We come home to international meal night with curry chicken, edemame, and ... well, milk. and my girls swear they need to smell like curry all the time and eat "acorns" (chickpeas) every night.
wow! we finish up with Zoe reading her first book all the way through and Ella reading the bible to them...
I don't know what I do in my sleep, but it has to be pretty good, because these girls make my day sometimes... and sometimes I need a frappe.
or maybe I just black them out because , as I told Zoe's teacher today, I'm an overachiever.
I got the priveledge of driving my girls to school today which I never do (funny, I think some of the moms get the idea that I don't exist). When I was dropping of Zoe, her teacher said, "you ready to make pinwheels?" Say what? Did I say that... didn't we decide not to, or did I say yes and just forget? so I also got the priveledge of running to walmart super quick.
Highlight of my day: teaching 4 year olds how to make pinwheels. Favorite pinwheel: Reo's which I think I left him alone with the scissors too long. Most excited: I think his name was LeLand. He had obviously never used a hole punch before and got WAY to excited when it worked it's "magic".
When I was done, I ran off to Sams to shop for Ada's birthday party this weekend and while I contemplated "cotton tails" (cheese balls), a friend found me holding the can staring off into space ( I blame my alter ego) and gloriously knocked me back into reality with a .96 cent pretzel. hoorah!
I rushed back to the house to drop off the goods before I picked everyone up from school, when I saw my sweet neighbor who Ada was DYING to invite her 25 year old daughter to her birthday party... she said yes... how sweet! .... but I digress.... must run back to school...
Wait, did I have a conversation yesterday with a mom who informed me that she NEEDED to bring her sons birthday cupcakes to school on Ada's birthday so she didn't wait so long that her son thought she was a bad mom... so what did that say about me?
So, I had to explain that to Ada's teacher... ok.
Off to go pick up Ella from school.
And here's where it gets interesting. we go to Harris Teeter while Ella is at Ballet and Ada is telling me about what she learned at school. A dentist came to the school to talk about brushing teeth and he let her know that if you eat too much candy, your teeth turn black... 20 minutes later we're checking out and the checkout girl has a couple rotted teeth... sweet Ada: " you must have never learned how to brush your teeth!" uhhhh.... thank you for my groceries (you're pretty)
We pick up Ella and on the way out the parking lot, Ada runs out into the middle of the street , in front of a car and jumps in a puddle. I'm running to yell at her, when the car rolls down the window and says, " you're such a busy mom. It's ok, she belongs in the water"
oh yes, did I forget to tell you that Ada had insisted on wearing a mermaid costume all afternoon and was screaming, I can't breathe! until she jumped in the puddle and sighed in relief?
We come home to international meal night with curry chicken, edemame, and ... well, milk. and my girls swear they need to smell like curry all the time and eat "acorns" (chickpeas) every night.
wow! we finish up with Zoe reading her first book all the way through and Ella reading the bible to them...
I don't know what I do in my sleep, but it has to be pretty good, because these girls make my day sometimes... and sometimes I need a frappe.
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