Quest for a BFF (part 1)

I've been avoiding writing this, but one day after part 35, you'll understand my anxiety over this subject and how weird I really am.
No I'm not Paris. I'm not going to belittle or humiliate anyone to be my best friend. I actually have a few friends that I find very open with and would be happy to call a best friend, but I kinda fear that word. I feel like I'm a little left out or I missed a memo or something so I'm trying to catch up.
Now, I kind of feel like a scientist at this point... learning human behavior.
I'll admit, age 30 is not the age to find said friend. I think most people find that connection by college age. I didn't live w/ many kids growing up. Actually, if I knew your name, I would have called you my best friend. As I grew up, I became a little more picky. But due to events outside of my control, I started life over in my teens. And for some reason when I went to college, those who I thought I was super close with came and went in my life...
People got it in their heads that popularity = lots of close friends. i felt like I started over again when I came to Charleston.
So, now the question is what does a close/best friend do? Obviously, as life goes on, people move away, so proximity is not a factor.
I'm going to keep learning and making observations, and pass those observations on to you.

so here's observation #1
I have always had an expectation that when I make a plan with someone, it will be followed through. If I say I'll be somewhere, you can expect I'll be there, and vice versa. Now, I'm not saying we don't forget sometimes, or things don't come up. I have come to the conclusion, a close friend will always check and recheck to make sure the plans are on. I hate doing that, I feel like I'm second guessing you. And moreover, when I do actually do it , and people say, "oh yah, I know we were getting together in an hour, but I made other plans", my heart breaks a little, no matter how much you apologize or plan again. I question how close of a friend I am to you, which I'm assuming is wrong (oh and superhard when I know you're keeping plans with other people I know).
So i'm starting over to be a better friend. I will call and check and recheck, however uncomfortable it makes me. I'll accept when things "come up" that don't seem important to me (I'm not including sickness or things like that: those things are unavoidable, I'm case in point). And try not to read in when you check me 10 times a day or ask me what's wrong because of it. Isn't it sad that I'm 30 and i'm only now figuring this stuff out?
So, are we still getting together anytime soon?

Her name shall be...

What's in a name? It used to be that every name had a meaning. I mean, there are hundreds of websites about baby names and meanings... yet, we're at a point where it's cooler to mix mom and dad's name together. We take friends names away and add a D'.
I love the bible because they named children either what the mom/dad was going through or what they wanted that child to aspire to. Some names I really felt bad for like mara (poor bitter girl), but other names rocked like Joshua/ Jesus (God is salvation)...
So when it came time to Quatro you can see the pressure on me.
When we got married, it was known from day one that we would have a boy and his name would be John White Campbell IV. Yet, we have no boy... girls names have eluded us for 8 years now...
after dozens of those 10,000 name books, and family history books, and suggestion upon suggestion... we've had 3 and about 4 beautiful girls with names i'm proud of
Ella Veryl (she's on fire for the truth)
Zoe Elise (new life, God will be her oath)
Ada Joi (The peaceful child, full of delight)
and now my beautiful girl
Nyla Ruth ( Warrior/ champion, Friend and companion) I'm hoping she'll fight for the oppressed because that's really what we need right now. So, it's no longer a secret... sweet nyla has 10 weeks til we see her. Maybe I can duct tape her in; as of right now, she's trying to explode her way out.
I totally wanted to put a picture with this, but she's a fighter... through and through. I've had 5 ultrasounds and not one picture of her face.

one for the money, 2 for the show

So most of you have heard about zoe. Saturday we were at sweet Brooks birthday when zoe tripped. It wasn't a big deal til she tried to get up and Ada tripped over her and slammed her face into the cement floor.
At first I just thought she tripped... she'll be fine (yes, i am an awesome mom). then when I first saw the blood I thought she tore her , you know, that thing that connects lip to gums (she's done it before)... she'll be fine (still pretty awesome). Then she opened her mouth.
As a great mom, I do have pics, but I don't know technologically how to get them from the phone to the internet.
When Johnny and I get under serious crisis, we find out why we are married. We both become uber subdued. We calmly shoved a gauze in her mouth and drove to meet Dr. Paul (he is the greatest) at the dentist.
I'm so sorry to end the birthday party...
Dr Paul shoved that tooth back up in her mouth and we hoped for the best. She thought it was funny for a while (frankly so did I) as she gave the lopsided smile at Ella. til she said, "stop looking at me zoe. it's starting to bother me"
"Mom I look like a bloody pirate."
By tuesday, we really thought all was well and things were healing, but alas, it's what's inside that counts... her body had rejected the tooth and we had to pull both front teeth.
Then I became a real mom and as I watched Dr. Paul yank em, I had to cry as I saw the lone tear roll down zoe's cheek. She didn't cry. she didn't yell, just one tear.
Now I keep hearing her try to pronounce S's... trying not to laugh... glad she has a good attitude about it... well, til she realizes that although she's the first to lose teeth, she'll be the last to have them come in.
Rooting for mom of the year.

a joyful noise

When I was 15 I helped out in a sunday school class for 3rd grade. My job was to be one on one with a downs syndrome boy. It was great; we laughed , we colored animals the wrong color, and it was nice to have little responsibility (there was only 1). After class I took him to sing in big church until his family came to sit with him.
this was my FAVORITE part of the day. While everyone kinda mumbled songs or tried desperately to sing sweetly, Johnathan would BELT at the TOP OF HIS LUNGS whatever song was playing. His english was marbled and the veins would pop out, but you could tell: he loved Jesus. Kids would laugh and wondered why I wasn't embarrassed by him. All I could reply was God told us to make a joyful noise, and he looks at our heart; where was their hearts?
Before I got pregnant with Zoe, I was in BSF over in West Ashley and there was a woman who would sing in the beginning who trully had a horrid voice. She would try to sing harmony and seriously sang like she was living in tonedeaf nations. but after a couple weeks, I fell in love with sitting next to her. I wanted to hear her sing because I knew unlike some of the other conservative ladies in the room, she sang for an audience of one and I wanted that and smiled every time I heard her.
Today I sat in a new BSF class in Hanahan. We sang a song that I haven't sung in YEARS, so I just sang that much louder. It's like how people say smells trigger memories, this song triggered memories of God's faithfulness to me. Iwas singing for my Lord. I slightly felt like I was singing alone because all the ladies around me were mumbling the words. Afterward, the girl next to me told me how beautiful my voice was and how glad she was that I sang loudly. I started to blush and then wondered, why weren't they speaking (I mean singing) up.
Yes, I can appreciate a good singer just as anyone else, but I would rather hear the entire sanctuary reverb because everyone in the room was belting it out like Johnathan, and hopefully my crack voice will come out and someone will be encouraged to sing louder for the One who matters.

It's hard to be hospitable with Crazy people

So in college my roomate and I agreed to NEVER lock our door... 90% of the time we never shut our door. We wanted people to feel welcome to hang out and it might have backfired once or twice (that night where everytime one of us woke up there was a different person on our computer)... but all in all, it made life ... I don't know, happier.
All the kids in our neighborhood (adults for that matter) know they can come to our house now when the garage is open, until now.
A few months ago we had 3 nights in a row of crazy people... the first tried to kidnap my zoe, the second tried to rob my garage and the 3rd was caught in my neighbors bushes running from the police... we shut our garage every day forever and no one ever came to visit. so sad.
So the past couple weeks, I've opened it up again atleast until the sun goes down, so that life can come back to our house, until today.
we were leaving to go to the library when I noticed a boy riding his scooter in my driveway. He stopped and stared at me , mouth gaped open, when I said hello. He picked up his scooter and just stared at me, until a couple minutes later he said, "scooter". I tried to get this 8 year old lookin kid to tell me what he was talking about, but that's all he'd say. He picked up his scooter and walked toward us as my kids were buckling up in the car. Once in the garage, he said, "I want to ride a scooter".
"well, yes honey, but we're getting ready to leave, so I need you to go home."
He just stared at me (frankly, I wonder if he was all there), set down his scooter, and looked at ella's scooter.
"I want that scooter, you can have mine, I'll just take that one." He says this as he takes ella's scooter out of the garage. I grabbed the scooter and told him to hold on, that it wasn't his, and he had his own scooter to take. As I shooed him down the driveway so I could leave.
He slowly but surely hopped on his scooter (that worked) and rode off.
As I left i saw him go 2 doors down and drop his scooter running into their garage, til he noticed they were leaving too, and turned around to leave. I got about 3 blocks from the house when I realized that I forgot the books to take back to the library. When I got back and left he was coming BACK down my street, riding straight at me in the middle of the road. He stopped in front of me and waited for me to ride around him and when I tried to get his attention he just gave me a blank look and kept riding. As I left my neighborhood wondering if I should turn around and take him home, I noticed him stopping in front of 2 more of my neighbors trying to drive out and just kept going... he's gone now, but i got to shut my garage door again... sorry for ignoring you kids in the neighborhood, I just want my kids scooter to still be there in the morning.

If video killed the radio star...

If video killed the radio star, then Facebook killed friendships. Actually, I don't know if we can even say that anymore since MTV doesn't show music videos anymore. I'm not saying Facebook is bad: I've reconnected with lots of people and have even gotten to hang out with a few, but all in all I wonder if it's the stuff as I remember it. It IS the modern blog, I mean, look at me. MTV wasn't ness. bad either; lots of people got recognition and we learned new dances etc.
It makes me sad, however, because of where we've gone in relationships. People we would have once called , we now facebook, and we sometimes even get mad that they don't check their facebook fast enough to answer us. I've even had friends do things day of: "ali, let's meet for lunch at chick fil a"... but I do'nt get the message until like 3pm and that friend thinks I was ignoring her. We don't send birthday invites, we don't even send evites much anymore; we create events on facebook. Now, sometimes I do too, sometimes it's last minute, sometimes it's just the fact that the people I want to invite I have no other way to get a hold of, but there's something to say about the amount that we do it.
So this week, I'm going old school. I'm going to call someone I would have only facebooked. I'm going to write a letter (yes, snail mail) someone I would have only messaged... I hope to reconnect to Ali: the supposed social butterfly within.

Doogie vs. Barney Stinson

"consider just the shifts in students' preferences that took place in less than two years time:
*music delivery went from cd's to itunes and mp3s
* primary communication went from phone calls to text messaging
* social networking went from e-mails to club penguin, myspace, and facebook
* entertainment preferences went from watching TV to streaming videos on youtube, hulu, and host of other sites
* person updates went from blogs to twitter" Generation iY by Tim Elmore

All of these things happened in 2 year times... I have been reading this book that my brother gave me to think about what my daughters might be going through. Then after I read this, I put it down and turned on Doogie Howser... ah yes, younguns, before Barney Stinson was Doogie. I had a giggle. He was on his "computer" if you can still call it that. And it made me remember everything I remember that has changed since I was a kid.
ok, here goes. Well, let's begin with Computers. I remember typing papers on computers and having to use whiteout because we didn't have backspace. And for that matter, I remember when our typewriter came with backspace. I took my first computer class in 6th grade... and it consisted of turning it on, learning how to type on it and save it to a TRUE floppy disc which was huge: atleast 3 1/2 by 3 1/2 inches.
i remember overheads. did you know the other day when I first took the interim youth leader job, I told them all I needed was an overhead and I was informed they don't exist anymore. younguns, it's a box with a light inside and a mirror above that projects a picture onto a wall... I also remember chalk boards and the INTRODUCTION to whiteboards... and forget the smartboard (what's that)
I remember TV being normal... cartoons were drawn by more than 2 artists, and they actually came on starting at 6am (Bobby's world) until atleast noon on Saturday.
Music was more than Disney and hip hop.
I remember when movies weren't all remakes of movies that CAME OUT when I was a kid.
I remember when coke came out, and crystal coke, and vanilla and all those fun things that weren't classic or diet.
I remember trees...
I remember having 12 hours to entertain myself with 4 channels on tv (mostly the McLaughlin hour) and the neighborhood to roam.
I remember cell phones that were the size of a messenger bag and the first handheld one that my dad tried desperately to fit into his lapel pocket.
I'll end on the internet too: I remember when AOL was the stuff and the only way to talk, email etc. I remember my first webcam, and finally when I too joined Facebook (thanks to my wonderful husband who set it up for me and now has to peel me off)
So, in 30 years this and more has happened, and just think of what's just happened in the span of 2 years. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up. Frankly, I don't enjoy technology as it is... I like my creativity thank you. you should try it some time.