when thought bubbles go bad

Politically correct?
Tactful?
Truth and grace.... together.
I suck at that. My family all agrees that whatever I say needs to be run by Johnny because I have this gift with the word-coming-out-of-my-mouth thing.
And because I KNOW that I have this challenge ability, I try really hard to keep it in.
This may surprise some of you because I'm what my mom likes to call a talker. (Why is this taking me so long to write.... oh yah, tactless).
Ok! So, I hear people tell me that I'm really hospitable (don't ness. believe it) or that I'm easy to talk to (ahhhahahahah), but when people say really dumb things on facebook, or worse to my face, I feel it....
It bubbles up....
Burns in my chest and my heart and then my throat.
I try to push it down and ignore it, and then I ask this horrible hypothetical: Is this something that SHOULD be said?
Uh oh! That blunt thought that I can't find the gentle way of telling just spills out.
Every time it happens, I lose ATLEAST half a dozen friends... aquaintances... respectable people that I HAVE to associate with.
I'm having one of those moments. The comments are piling up in my brain from the past couple months and they desperately want to come out.
How do you stop? And what's funny is that I realized that a couple of them were telling others to shut their yaps.
So hug me when you see me... tread lightly because my thought bubble is starting to smell ripe.

you're forcing my hand

Zoe: Mom, you never feel good.
Me: I know, why do you think that is?
Zoe: I'm pretty sure it's because of the things that you eat.

Thank you : deep thoughts by Zoe.

I have this problem. I love food. I love to eat. I'm not really concerned about my weight. I have this body dismorphic disorder (and really, I'm not shortchanging real eating disorders) I don't look in the mirror and think that I'm fat; rather the opposite. I think I look good... I don't get it until I see pictures... I mean, who IS that girl.
My real judge of dread when it comes to weight is that I promise to NEVER go over my weight when I was at my max of being preggo with Nyla.

yes, scale! you forced my hand. I am now 6 pounds away from my max. Sticks and Stones, I think NOT! You have officially hurt me. Granted my weight doesn't just flux a lb or 2. I weighed less than a week apart and there was a 10 lb difference and I actually walked a LOT... whaaa
so now I have to do something.
I don't like to diet. I don't like those posts on pinterest because I want to say, " I can't do that". I have 0 motivation... except to stay away from my max... so where do I go from this. I hate making lunch and even if I manage to do so, I hate to eat whatever it is... I hate to think about breakfast and dinner depends on timing and children... AHHHH... you MIGHT hear an update every once in a while. but I'll say this...
Scale: you haven't seen the last of me.

Coming to grips

I now know What I have to do. I have come to grips  with the fact that I'm in my 30's. I think I have to change and update my blog... I have been toying around with the name... here's a couple of the things I came up with while I was in Chicago.

Alone on the subway

Life is Beauty Full

Vomit clean up Fee

Funky spunky and chunky

 Yes... this just says it all.... well, unless you ask a certain someone (not my husband) who has voiced their doubts in my skills even though they have never tried my cuisine.... enough of that...

but... how do I come up with a rocking blog name and page banner... anyone want to help me set it up... really I should have probably renamed this, technologically illiterate part III.

So, if you wanna help a girl with Pizza-zz find a way to express it on page, let me know!

Salt

there are all kinds of sayings... the only one that comes to mind is , "what good is salt if it looses it's saltiness. it's just good for throwing out and trampling on"
One more year of my friends leaving town. That is one downer on Charleston. It's a town where generations grow up in the same house, but if you're military or medical, they all leave... over and over again.
June is winding down and I've had to say goodbye to some good ones... and hopefully some ones that I can keep in contact ... skype anyone?
I keep thinking that there will be a year where I don't cry or maybe no one will leave, but every year, someone suprises me with their leaving... I miss my homies!
So, here's my shout out and remember to write or call or skype or visit...
and if the rest of you are still here, don't leave me in the dark... sniff sniff...

crazy train

yah, hilarious that I would put Black sabbath on the title, huh? Except every time we got in the car (thanks to that dumb commercial) my kids sang that song... funny part: I'm pretty sure we were on the crazy train.
we left the last day of VBX to go to the grand canyon. None of the kids at church believed me because we went as part of vbs to 5 of the 7 wonders of the world, including the grand canyon. I kept saying, " I'll be gone friday because I'm going to the grand canyon"
"yah, right miss Ali. What will you be doing in AZ?"

"I'll be flying in a hot air balloon" This was another reason that none of them believed me. See, I only do 1 decoration in my room for VBX and this years was: a hot air balloon. yah, hilarious.
But Friday came and I was off by 8 in the morning... my husband and I swore that we would never got to AZ again with 3 kids: well, we were right. we went with 4 kids!
we missed most everything planned including hot air balloon (lost reservation), horseback riding (my 3 yo nephew jumped out of a moving car: don't ask), helicopter ride (too windy), volcano (darn active volcanos), montazuma's castle (who wanted his revenge anyway), carretta candy factory (only doing tours on weekdays: poo) and shamrock milk factory (only during the school year: bah), but that didn't stop the family reunion fun.
we smooth water rafted with all the girls, went to the observatory, pink jeep tour, sliding rock,  ran into some elk, butterflies, leeches (eeek), deer, condors, oh and about 50 of our long lost relatives from everywhere from puerto rico to AZ itself. It's always an adventure being with my family through good times and bad, and I'll do my darndest to keep us all together. All I can hope for before the next 4 years are some good memories to share, maybe a book (I mean, if aunt Diane can make a couple , so can I right?), kids who are self sufficient (Nyla will be 5, that's a good age to go on your own) a national monument, or atleast natives like the navajos we hung out with, a coca-cola to keep me awake, and my family.

 yes, I fell into the 45 degree water... super fun!

 note for next time: they HIGHLY discourage you use flash photography when taking a picture of the telescope!

 Met the man who helped discover the rings around uranus: stop laughing Johnny!

 Every family should reach out to nature when they offer you a kiss: love you Aunt Gail!

 Water rafting with Ada is always a trip! and we saw long horned sheep!

 pretty bad view huh!

Here's a couple pictures to laugh with me... enjoy!

Lazy is in the eye of the beholder

"Mom, why do you have to be so lazy?"
Yah, not many things offend me, but when my 9 year old said this to me today, I was completely hurt.
Keep in mind this started after I spent all yesterday driving to and from ballet, cooking for guests, cleaning up, getting up early and preparing school for 3... not to mention I have 4 kids. And then Ella asked me to get her folder and sign it. I didn't know where her folder was and she had YET to put her lunchbox into her backpack, but when I told her that SHE could bring me her folder to sign since it was her responsibility, she came out with this honest and completely serious statement.
After my husband coming to my defense and a hurt angry look, she gave me the reasons she thought I was lazy. And that is my child, logical to the end.
I know, you're wondering- how could anyone think I was lazy, but her main argument was that she finds me on the couch resting about 3pm after I've been running around all day.... she thinks I should be upstairs playing. From a kids point of view this actually made perfect sense to me. hmmmmm
Well, until I figure this out and actually come up with words to give my child, I'll just clean my house, change diapers, wash and fold clothes, cook dinner, drive around, plan vbx, find an apartment, pack, shop for groceries and clothes, and maybe find time to play with the kids, take em to the park, find summer camps, treat them, help them with homework, take them to the library..... and sit on the couch for a few minutes.

doing the Cha-cha

what's the saying: 2 steps forward and 1 step back... or was that Paula Abdul?
But even with that saying I would be making progress forward. I feel like I'm doing the cha-cha, which looks good on the outside, but frankly doesn't get me anywhere.
I clean and clean, but it still looks dirty.
I'm purging, but things pile up.
OR I teach the girls not to antagonize (yes we learned the definition) but then they just whine please stop all day!!!
Maybe what would be unexpected is to dance whenever they make me angry... and then I'll point to their room.
Maybe I'll dance when the house is dirty, and rub the counter at the same time...
Hey, I think I'm a pretty good dancer, just you wait and see.