I am not an overly emotional person. Now that might humor my mother because I spent most of my childhood crying over every little thing, but through much mocking and shooshing I don't cry unless I'm by my lonesome.
And I hear about how people cry at commercials or cry because their kids are so cute when they sleep, but that's just not me... I cry cause I laugh so hard or I relive vicariously my painful memories of childhood bullies.
Then last week I went to a Ch*istian arts camp. My kids did pottery, drama, blacklight, quilting, guitar, dance and much much more.... and then they learn some singing.
I sat in on practice on last friday for the production of what they learned.
These kids made me BAWL over and over again.
The sweetness of hearing children sing praises and the magnificence of thier G*d and not just sing because they had to, but mean EVERY word they sang, blew me away!
Then they recited scrip*ture. wow! They love Him and I remembered why I loved them so much...
then when all these kids saw me crying, they just kept touching me (stop crying miss ali) ... well, you know what happens when you touch a crying woman... they just KEEP crying harder... I looked like a crazy...
well if crazy is crying out of joy for the L*rd, then call me Miles Davis.
Thank you to all the amazing teachers who loved my girls and gave them interest in art of all shapes and sizes.... but most of all to DC and Kim for giving my girls a joy that I want.
Search This Blog
Monday, July 15, 2013
Saturday, July 6, 2013
unikinis and cheeseburgers
A while ago I was on a plane with Johnny and we got separated in our seats, which was fine because I planned to read all the way home anyway, until the lady who sat next to me got in the plane. I felt like I had to talk to her. then I got to the point in our conversation that I now need to make a confession.
She asked me when I was due.
Yah, say what you want, but she was so confident in her question I really didn't want to sit for however long on the plane while she apologized and got awkward, that I told her.
Not that far.
We had a 30 minute conversation about said baby that I didn't know about.
Fast forward...
I took a medicine for about a year that had the side effect of making you gain weight. So i gained over 60 lbs (I hide it relatively well). Last week I bought new shorts for fourth of July. I had not one, not two, but 3 people tell me separately that the shorts that SHOULD have fit me were ... clearing throat... quite snug. not to mention the equally tight shirt that was "my size".
I about died... see I have lost some weight since changing meds a week ago, but just takes time... time sux.
On top of that there's the lack of motivation... cause really, why should i lose weight when J*sus is just coming back soon anyway...
so tonight in my depression I went and bought a new outfit... one that fit...
I can't weight to wear it :)
it's maternity. and no I'm not pregnant.
oh and I should be so confident in my belly that really I think I'm buying a unikini next... I've seen those ladies and they seem pretty happy.
She asked me when I was due.
Yah, say what you want, but she was so confident in her question I really didn't want to sit for however long on the plane while she apologized and got awkward, that I told her.
Not that far.
We had a 30 minute conversation about said baby that I didn't know about.
Fast forward...
I took a medicine for about a year that had the side effect of making you gain weight. So i gained over 60 lbs (I hide it relatively well). Last week I bought new shorts for fourth of July. I had not one, not two, but 3 people tell me separately that the shorts that SHOULD have fit me were ... clearing throat... quite snug. not to mention the equally tight shirt that was "my size".
I about died... see I have lost some weight since changing meds a week ago, but just takes time... time sux.
On top of that there's the lack of motivation... cause really, why should i lose weight when J*sus is just coming back soon anyway...
so tonight in my depression I went and bought a new outfit... one that fit...
I can't weight to wear it :)
it's maternity. and no I'm not pregnant.
oh and I should be so confident in my belly that really I think I'm buying a unikini next... I've seen those ladies and they seem pretty happy.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Where the monkeys touch the banana
You're probably wondering where i've been.... where the ocean meets the sun?
nah... I've been in crazy land.
Jacksonville has been interesting..
We've done a triathalon
I've lost 12 lbs
my mom has started a new chemo.
we're teaching VBS (surprise surprise)
we're homeschooling
Nyla can say mine (a lot)
Johnny's learning french
and I've been dealing with the sneaky deps again.
you remember them! I was doing ok until the end of march... I started noticing that I was gaining an exhorbent amount of weight and I was quieter than usual. I really thought everything was fine. I even considered whether I could stop taking my meds, when it snuck up behind me.
First Johnny mentioned I didn't seem right. Then I noticed I REALLY didn't want to get off the couch. I dreaded waking up or going to bed. I couldn't concentrate to teach the girls. Every day got worse.
It finally hit me: I have the deps again! BUT i'm on happy pills.
so This past week I went to a psychiatrist. she was real nice and even took my sarcasm
(Ali, have you fallen, hit your head and lost consciousness any time lately?
Not that I can remember! bum bum bum)
I even took a genetic test to help me find meds that help and wont give me ugly side effects (like a large belly)
so here's to the crazies of the world!
May the deps ever stay in the shadows!
nah... I've been in crazy land.
Jacksonville has been interesting..
We've done a triathalon
I've lost 12 lbs
my mom has started a new chemo.
we're teaching VBS (surprise surprise)
we're homeschooling
Nyla can say mine (a lot)
Johnny's learning french
and I've been dealing with the sneaky deps again.
you remember them! I was doing ok until the end of march... I started noticing that I was gaining an exhorbent amount of weight and I was quieter than usual. I really thought everything was fine. I even considered whether I could stop taking my meds, when it snuck up behind me.
First Johnny mentioned I didn't seem right. Then I noticed I REALLY didn't want to get off the couch. I dreaded waking up or going to bed. I couldn't concentrate to teach the girls. Every day got worse.
It finally hit me: I have the deps again! BUT i'm on happy pills.
so This past week I went to a psychiatrist. she was real nice and even took my sarcasm
(Ali, have you fallen, hit your head and lost consciousness any time lately?
Not that I can remember! bum bum bum)
I even took a genetic test to help me find meds that help and wont give me ugly side effects (like a large belly)
so here's to the crazies of the world!
May the deps ever stay in the shadows!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
people I don't trust
What's the saying? Don't trust a skinny chef.
well, I don't trust 2 different types of people
people who are incredibly fit, but whenever I talk to them, they're on their way to McD's.
and people who are incredibly obese, but only talk about clean living...
And while I'm on a rager...
why can't I stop eating... I'll tell you.
It's a habit like any other, but frankly, I can stop taking drugs, but I can't stop eating...
so now I have to learn to eat the right things, right? I can eat what I want as long as it's good for me,.... where's the good for me ice cream (keep in mind I'm allergic to aspertame which is in EVERY low cal everything.).
And really, why do my children only scream when I need quiet... ti's like they can sense it. or they see me on the phone and their first thoughts are, dueling seagulls is a great game.
And they have pms when I do... it's like sympathy pains.
ok I'm done.
well, I don't trust 2 different types of people
people who are incredibly fit, but whenever I talk to them, they're on their way to McD's.
and people who are incredibly obese, but only talk about clean living...
And while I'm on a rager...
why can't I stop eating... I'll tell you.
It's a habit like any other, but frankly, I can stop taking drugs, but I can't stop eating...
so now I have to learn to eat the right things, right? I can eat what I want as long as it's good for me,.... where's the good for me ice cream (keep in mind I'm allergic to aspertame which is in EVERY low cal everything.).
And really, why do my children only scream when I need quiet... ti's like they can sense it. or they see me on the phone and their first thoughts are, dueling seagulls is a great game.
And they have pms when I do... it's like sympathy pains.
ok I'm done.
Monday, April 15, 2013
weak hands
I'm useless in the morning... Don't ask me to open a tough jar or hold your hand... don't ask me to do your hair because it'll be pitiful. I have no grip, see. My hands wake up so weak, and it takes time for my hands to wake up. Does this make sense to you?
Well, today I'm in the car with my mom and she's opening a bottle of water... after a minute, she just stares at the bottle. It has one of those IMpossible tops. The ones I stare at in disbelief that I could possibly NOT be able to open a simple bottle of water... am I weak...... well, this is how my mom stares at the water bottle and I'm with her
I have weak hands?
I can't even do something so simple
I sit in the waiting room while my mom starts chemo today. While I'm in the waiting room, I see people coming in and out of the elevator, struggling with weak hands to name the least of their problems.
What can I do for them?
I'm reading Kisses From Katie and she sits in her home in Uganda and just pr*ys that she would be used, and she is...
I look around where I'm at and what can I do? I feel so.... weak
Then I go on to children's rehabilitation center for Nyla's speech therapy. I look around that situation and just see disabled kids of all kinds.
What can I do?
How do I love on these people?
But I think I'll just have to pr*y as Katie did.
Just let me wake up and love on them .... you work L*rd... what can I do for you? please just show me.
maybe it's like waking up in the morning, I just have to stretch and maybe I'll find my nitch
Well, today I'm in the car with my mom and she's opening a bottle of water... after a minute, she just stares at the bottle. It has one of those IMpossible tops. The ones I stare at in disbelief that I could possibly NOT be able to open a simple bottle of water... am I weak...... well, this is how my mom stares at the water bottle and I'm with her
I have weak hands?
I can't even do something so simple
I sit in the waiting room while my mom starts chemo today. While I'm in the waiting room, I see people coming in and out of the elevator, struggling with weak hands to name the least of their problems.
What can I do for them?
I'm reading Kisses From Katie and she sits in her home in Uganda and just pr*ys that she would be used, and she is...
I look around where I'm at and what can I do? I feel so.... weak
Then I go on to children's rehabilitation center for Nyla's speech therapy. I look around that situation and just see disabled kids of all kinds.
What can I do?
How do I love on these people?
But I think I'll just have to pr*y as Katie did.
Just let me wake up and love on them .... you work L*rd... what can I do for you? please just show me.
maybe it's like waking up in the morning, I just have to stretch and maybe I'll find my nitch
Sunday, April 7, 2013
school of hard knocks relived
SOHK is back friends... I know you missed me and my posts and pins on pinterest.
This time around has new challenges and new joys...
http://youtu.be/_Qu6d0lE1z8
This is the way I feel about being a teacher. I keep thinking that I know what I'm doing.... and I keep doing it... I'm a glutton for punishment.
So here's my challenge. I know I'm leaving in 3-6 months so thinking about school, I had to reevaluate what I was doing...
we started a computer school: time4learning.com. It's actually quite genius... and the kids really enjoy the games and are learning... well, who knows, I've only done it for a week.
But then the other day, my eldest said she wished she was at public school. I asked her why.... she said that she used to love having me as a teacher, but now I don't spend any time with her, I just put her in front of the computer...
and Zoe said the same thing when I questioned her later.
Here's my problem... i KNOW i'm leaving in 3-6 months and I have a cirriculum, but now I need to teach my kids... don't want to buy a lot of supplies because I can't take them with me... what to invest in... I could spend lots of money, but I don't have lots of money... just pretend I have none.
exciting things...
I'm teaching french now too... have no idea what I'm doing... the rabbi down the street keeps telling me to speak french in the home (that's great if we spoke french)... but it's a fun adventure to try to teach french as a foreign language.
PE....ahahahhaah... if you knew me, this is funny... but the kids are doing a triathalon... another humorous thing considering we have no money... where do we get bikes... helmets... money for the triathalon.. BUT they're doing it.
so if you need me for the next 3-6 call me in jacksonville Florida... I'll be out exercising, eating healthier.. my next post will have to be my new food pinterest pins that i've tried...
love you friends. thanks for keeping up with me...
This time around has new challenges and new joys...
http://youtu.be/_Qu6d0lE1z8
This is the way I feel about being a teacher. I keep thinking that I know what I'm doing.... and I keep doing it... I'm a glutton for punishment.
So here's my challenge. I know I'm leaving in 3-6 months so thinking about school, I had to reevaluate what I was doing...
we started a computer school: time4learning.com. It's actually quite genius... and the kids really enjoy the games and are learning... well, who knows, I've only done it for a week.
But then the other day, my eldest said she wished she was at public school. I asked her why.... she said that she used to love having me as a teacher, but now I don't spend any time with her, I just put her in front of the computer...
and Zoe said the same thing when I questioned her later.
Here's my problem... i KNOW i'm leaving in 3-6 months and I have a cirriculum, but now I need to teach my kids... don't want to buy a lot of supplies because I can't take them with me... what to invest in... I could spend lots of money, but I don't have lots of money... just pretend I have none.
exciting things...
I'm teaching french now too... have no idea what I'm doing... the rabbi down the street keeps telling me to speak french in the home (that's great if we spoke french)... but it's a fun adventure to try to teach french as a foreign language.
PE....ahahahhaah... if you knew me, this is funny... but the kids are doing a triathalon... another humorous thing considering we have no money... where do we get bikes... helmets... money for the triathalon.. BUT they're doing it.
so if you need me for the next 3-6 call me in jacksonville Florida... I'll be out exercising, eating healthier.. my next post will have to be my new food pinterest pins that i've tried...
love you friends. thanks for keeping up with me...
Thursday, March 7, 2013
double excitement, double the fun with....
well, not double mint gum because I'm allergic to aspertame like 50% of America.
I say double because tomorrow I'll be 33.... double 3's.
Last year I promised the unexpected and I'm pretty sure I followed through.
What have I done this year:
gained 55 lbs.... well that was unexpected (thanks old lady meds that I'll be changing soon)
lost family (another attribute to being old)
went to disney, chicago, Grand Canyon, Great wolf lodge, the amazing tour of the south East, and other sundry wonderful unexpected destinations along the way.
started homeschooling ( unexpected for all)
moved into an apartment,... and out of an apartment
learned to go with the flow (unexpected for me)
actually did pinterest things I' pinned (and I would post more of them if my camera would hook up to the computer)
became a weeeeeeee bit more computer savvy (depending on who you ask)
have read many books (only unexpected because I have 4 kids)
moved from chas to VA and soon to France and by next year I'll be moving to N. Africa
I think I've done enough unexpected things to scare an Elephant into stampeding.
What do I look forward to this year?
I'm going to learn how to ski (better)
I'm going to lose those darn 55 lbs.... and hopefully shove them under the couch I'll be getting off of.
I'm going to eat stinky cheese
I'm going to become proficient in a new language
I'm going to make new friends
I would say I'm going to be a better mom and wife, but everyone would send me emails saying I already am and I'm not in the mood to argue....
I'm going to become computer literate
I'm going to ride a vespa
I am going to try on a uni-kini
I'm going to sing on the eiffel tower and wear a berret
I'm going to travel out of the country
I'm going to learn to cook a meat that shouldn't be eaten ... like antelope
I'm going to NOT COUPON
I'm going to eat bread, and love it
pretty much a mid life crisis year right? except without the crisis
so what shall we call it... it's a year of mid life.... dang I hope I don't die by 66.... but then again, I'll go out with a bang , won't I .... to a year of MID LIFE!!!
I say double because tomorrow I'll be 33.... double 3's.
Last year I promised the unexpected and I'm pretty sure I followed through.
What have I done this year:
gained 55 lbs.... well that was unexpected (thanks old lady meds that I'll be changing soon)
lost family (another attribute to being old)
went to disney, chicago, Grand Canyon, Great wolf lodge, the amazing tour of the south East, and other sundry wonderful unexpected destinations along the way.
started homeschooling ( unexpected for all)
moved into an apartment,... and out of an apartment
learned to go with the flow (unexpected for me)
actually did pinterest things I' pinned (and I would post more of them if my camera would hook up to the computer)
became a weeeeeeee bit more computer savvy (depending on who you ask)
have read many books (only unexpected because I have 4 kids)
moved from chas to VA and soon to France and by next year I'll be moving to N. Africa
I think I've done enough unexpected things to scare an Elephant into stampeding.
What do I look forward to this year?
I'm going to learn how to ski (better)
I'm going to lose those darn 55 lbs.... and hopefully shove them under the couch I'll be getting off of.
I'm going to eat stinky cheese
I'm going to become proficient in a new language
I'm going to make new friends
I would say I'm going to be a better mom and wife, but everyone would send me emails saying I already am and I'm not in the mood to argue....
I'm going to become computer literate
I'm going to ride a vespa
I'm going to sing on the eiffel tower and wear a berret
I'm going to travel out of the country
I'm going to learn to cook a meat that shouldn't be eaten ... like antelope
I'm going to NOT COUPON
I'm going to eat bread, and love it
pretty much a mid life crisis year right? except without the crisis
so what shall we call it... it's a year of mid life.... dang I hope I don't die by 66.... but then again, I'll go out with a bang , won't I .... to a year of MID LIFE!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)