Funny what defines your life

*warning* there are things on this post that I've never shared with ANYONE.(mom you might not want to read this) I had to pray a long time about whether to start this blog off on such a serious note, but in the end, it's done. Stay with me, I'll lighten up soon.
There are certain age groups that I lean toward when I look for who to hang with: 9, 13, 17,and 21. I had to think about why is that? and I realized that it's because at those ages, things happened that really defined who I was.
At age 7 I came to Christ but at age 9 I began going to a church that really encouraged me to figure out what I believed and my opinions were beginning to form.
At age 13 so many things began. Of course, the basic things like the first boyfriend, the first crush (yes girls, there is a difference)happened, but then I start thinking about other things. And this is where this post comes from. I experienced things that in an of themselves should have changed my life forever, but it's funny what defines your life. Between the ages of 13 and 16 I was introduced to drugs (and walked away thankfully), I smoked (and didn't break that easily), I drank (found my tolerance to be much higher than others: don't test me, I'll drink you under the table), I had friends who commited suicide, did cutting, anorexia, and every other disorder for teens. I saw friends have sex, prostitute themselves willingly, asked to have sex myself multiple times (but was smarter than the average bear for 99% of situations), I saw an orgy firsthand and walked away from that one, had a "friend" try to rape me, and another save me. I had a friend so high he put a shot gun to my face and later try to turn it on himself while police thought we were just silly teens. My first boyfriend was a drug addict and the second a gang member. I've had boyfriends who used me as a bet, and others for their own insecurities.
But the funny thing is that those things never defined me. I'm sure they influenced me to an extent, but I don't look back and say, "I wouldn't be who I am if someone hadn't tried to kill me (on more than one occasion)". I've noticed that the things that define me in life are things that show me (all the way back at age 7) who God is.
As a mom, I can see looking at my 7 year old how God took hold of me. I had no concept of sin. really, most of those things that happened to me up to age 16, I was so naive that they didn't register for YEARS. Yet, God in his mercy took hold of me. Gave me a passion for Him where there was no reason. At age 13, I knew I was experiencing things that other kids weren't necessarily going to ever go through. And I had to keep myself in check with God for my motivations (and they weren't always honorable). At age 17, I had a reality check. I took hold of my adulthood, and had to depend on God because no one else seemed to care about me or ask. At age 21, after much pain, and guilt from the decisions I made in life, God blessed me with a husband and soon after a baby. God was faithful even when I wasn't.
So I wonder with 30, will this be a defining year? Will I look back and say that God showed himself in a tangible new way? We'll see, but till then, I'm holding on.