So many ways that I could answer this question. First, I must point out that as I walked in the airport, I noticed many amazing things. Did you know that I can buy Rosetta Stone in the airport? But can they promise me that I'll learn Mandarin before I land in China? Also, you know how you can earn free crud when you listen to a timeshare. Atlanta had the audacity to tell me I could earn a free flight on Delta if I listened to their shpeel. Now wait! Can I apply this flight to the one that I'm about to board because my flight leaves in half an hour...
But I digress. I must share with you the joy that was my solo flight with 3 girls from Pheonix AZ to Charleston SC. It was 8:30am when we arrived at the pheonix airport. In tow I had a double stroller, 2 carseats, 3 bookbags (because it's a rule that the kids refuse to carry their own bag in public no matter how light it is), a purse (big one!!! full!!!), a laptop.... and oh yah, 3 kids. We began our journey at the flight check in... after it printed 50 copies of our boarding passes and flight schedules all the size of an ATM receipt we left for the security check in.
Now the happiness and candycanes begin. we take off our shoes. load up 8 buckets(!!!) full of junk, and was about to load up the seats to put through x ray when the guy in front of us tried to smuggle something in and they closed the station down... except that by now 50 people have lined up in the other station because they didn't want to be behind me. And we wait.
and wait.
and wait, for no one to let us slide in. so in my jerky way, I force myself in. we transfer all our junk, when I realize ( a minute too late) that ada's sippy is full of milk... they pull me aside to check for bombs in the milk and EVENTUALLY we enter the terminals.
Now I'm actually quite proud of my girls. they sat for 4 hours quietly. they watched thier movie and at thier veggies. Ella even offered the 8 year old boy next to me if he'd like gum. Which was a funny story. This woman in her late 30s gets on the plane with her 8 year old son. She is a 12 year old in a 38 year old womans body. The only thing she brings on the plane (besides her kid) is 5, count them, gameboys of various sizes, a VENTI coffee (1 for her and 1 for her son) and her makeup. She refuses for ella to give her son gum because it's unhealthy, no mind to the giant caffinated beverage he's consuming or the ice cream she forced down him for lunch even though he asked for veggies... hmmm.
After we land, we taxied the runway for 30 minutes so ella and ada unbuckle (no they did not get out of their seats), but the boy next to me can't take it; he had to lecture them. I said, "son really this is much better than them screaming." and I assure him he's super mature. His mom informs me, yes, more than my children (excuse me) and how she has to get off the plane away from them (what!!!!) then as my zoe gets her hand stuck in the bathroom door (I know, how ?) she screams and the lady PUSHES people down the isle to get away from us. I'm still proud of my girls.
We get off the plane, go to the bathroom, where I leave my purse and lose it. we walk to find dinner and order before I realize my purse is gone and we have to run for it. After we get the purse, there is no time to get dinner and the hill goes down.
SCREAMING ensues on the plane, off the plane , to the plane, away from the plane. they lick, bite, spit, kick, throw gum, pry it out and eat it again. needless to say the people sitting in 21c and 22c are a little peaved at those in 21ab and 22ab. but we get there... barely.
it is now 8:30 pm and I drive to chick fil a . the guy at the window asks how I'm doing and I say, " if you want me to give me a free milkshake, my day could be made better." and you know what he asks... what flavor... he made my 12 hour flight worth it... and what do I do... make him regret it. he asks why my children are crying in the back and was it because they didn't get a milkshake.... and in my sarcasm I say , " no, they're just hungry and I won't give them their food. I mean, it's only 9 pm and its early so they can wait til we get home right?"
he didn't find my day nearly as humorous as I did.
the end
No comments:
Post a Comment