stubborness is a gift and exercise is an choice

So I would NEVER admit that I'm strong willed, but for those of you who doubt me, I will give you the benefit of my doubt.
I would also say that I refuse to be put in a box, which can be construed wrong. I will not allow myself to fall into those nasty statistics. I will fight every day to do what I know is right, even if it means against myself. I can't believe that God is only what people make him out to be, and I try my darndest to finish well.
That doesn't mean I don't suck in the middle. People have told me all my life what I can and can't do, what I can and can't be, and who I should and shouldn't associate with. Now this could totally lead into other conversation about God and about parenting/ marriage, but tonight is exercise.
I hope this will encourage you.
I hate exercise. Never liked it. I don't run (just ask my old trainer brianna : she's a FB friend). I never could finish the races at field day at school. But when it was something I could handle, I pushed my hardest. I made the swim team... I tried out for soccer and volleyball. I did swing dancing and roller blading, but ask me if I'm in shape: never.
I have been blessed with reasonable genes. My dad was a skinny one (well, for a long time anyway). My mom was a thin mint (she says until she had me). So child after child was easy to bounce back... until This time around (I will not blame Nyla).
I have no will power... I love chocolate, I love caffeine, I love fried foods..... just thinking about it makes me hoonngry! So when my 6 weeks was up with Nyla, Johnny asked me to work out... no thanks... ok fine, I'm at my maximum weight and I refuse to be in the statistic of overweight/ obesity. But I have no motivation.
I will say that I'm trying though. I am now down 6 lbs... no big woop: don't expect me to show you a before/ after pic, but I'm happy. And I really think I'm here frankly because I'm trying. I don't keep a great diet, I don't push hardcore with Tony Horton, but I do something. I figure walking is better than sitting on my couch, one glass of water is better than none etcc... and as I go, I change that thought to 2 glasses is better than one, and dancing with the kids is better than watching TV... on and on till something is done.
So right now, I still have no motivation. I'm stubborn in my eating habits, but I walk to Bi-lo (my treat is to walk down the icecream isle on my way out, actually for the AC) then I walk back home, singing really really loudly. I do P90X (the ones I can) and I juice. And when I watch Ella, who is the defnition of strong-willed, I smile. I hope she's like me and she won't live by that name. I hope she'll reach beyond the names the kids/ adults call her (especially what I call her) and be BIG. As my mom and I discussed:
"Mom, she's not strong-willed, we will call her determined, very determined."
"ok"
"And one day mom, she'll be determined for God and not to do drugs"
"What happens when she's determined TO do drugs?"
"shut up."

I'm not labeling her that way... and I'll pray against it just in case.