Christians suck!

I was thinking the other day about the first person that ever friended me on Facebook. He was a guy who I went to middle/highschool with, he was a Christian at the time, and has since renounced God. I remember that I was so intimidated by him in middle school. He seemed SO confident in Christ. Almost to the point that when he would catch me doing something "wrong" I was waiting for the turn-or-burn talk. Funny thing was: I was a Christian too.
I really thought I was a good Christian too. I went to church, I helped out in the youth group, I was "zealous"... until I joined facebook.
I had another friend from middle/ highschool who has never probably gone into a church and when I talked to him for the first time on facebook, he pointed out all the horrible things I never remembered doing at school. I was struck by how much perception is important.
You are being watched.
I'm not saying that I wasn't following God or that I wasn't really a christian back then. But there are 2 sides to every coin.
Christians: need to realize that what you do when no one looks, matters. That you do not know EVERYTHING and God's wisdom is not the same as worldly wisdom. What I mean by that is the gospel sounds foolish. Blood covering sins, sacrifices, giving your heart to what seems like an invisible force, sounds reallllly foolish. But to someone who understands, identifying a source and standard for morality, knowing we will never attain that standard and realizing Jesus gave his time,blood, sweat and tears for me to come before that standard confidently AND humbly... is the power of God. Being willing to lay your reputation and face on the line even when you think no one is looking matters. And knowing how to ask forgiveness does too.
I think our confidence in Christ alone easily sways to cockiness ... I'm free and you're not na na na na na.... na. We become hypocrites to the very thing we should be falling on our faces for... and be thankful that we were pulled off the edge of the cliff, grabbing someone else's hand on the edge on our way up.
Those who don't want anything to do with God: Please understand that I'm only human. What a cruddy excuse, but true. When I was young, I trully thought I was invincible and in that I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of feelings, no matter what my intentions.
If I've said it once, I'll say it 1000 times: God is not people. I let people down all the time by accident, I say things that I think are joking or friendly, but you see as a Christian being judgemental. I may even be an ass because I'm having a tough day or waking up grumpy or on my period... BUt God doesn't have those problems... He does things with a purpose and plan. Why did your mom not let you play in the street as a child... it was so unfair because all the other kids were doing it and you were being made fun of for not. You had never been hurt before... but she did it to protect you. And when the one child did get hit by a car, you blamed mom for letting them play in the street.... same with life. God does things we don't understand and we blame him if it goes wrong or right... but his wisdom is not ours.
So what did I say to the guys I'm talking about. The one who did not know Christ I apologized. I didn't give excuse because there is none. I was an ass. I hurt him, even if I didn't mean to. and the fact he remembered it 20 years later proves that my life had an affect on him.
For the guy who was a christian but is now not one, I apologize too. I hurt him thinking he'll understand he's a christian, but it built up to a point that he walked away. God was not real enough. Science won out or logic or something... And I'm not saying God does not understand science and logic, but like I said, God 's wisdom isn't ours, and when it doesn't click- I can't expect him to stay.
My thought is, Christians can suck, we do it all the time. Those who are supposed to support me, fight with me all the time. Those I'm supposed to see as a family sometimes make fun of me or walk away because out of sight, out of mind. I have christian friends who tear people down and lord over everyone their superiority... none of this is right, but that's not why I'm a christian. I'm a christian because I know I suck. I know that I can never not suck (my mom informs me all the time about my lack of mercy toward people: t's true), but God is real and has changed me over the years , not out of my own self-discipline, but because I let him work with me and I have seen my life change over hte years. Things that I could never do myself with habits or loving or anger... those things have changed because of God and i give him full credit. Please forgive me for sucking back then, and I can't wait to see how I unsuck in the future.