Yes, I'm uber holy

Josh is in the middle with the beard. He seemed to enjoy the party at our house!

I know, you look at me and see a freak with a super gift... called hospitality. This past week, I took a lesson in stupidity hospitality.
How to take your talents to the next level:
1. Have a common last name. This allows for everyone to call you or ask for you by said common last name and someone will just give up your personal information without blinking twice. For example: the last name Campbell. Someone could just show up at your school and say they're looking for the Campbells and There might be a person at the school who just hands over your phone number. (don't I wish I was still a Mixer now?)
2. Have an unsuspecting spouse. Yes, someone who takes EVERYONE at their word. For example: there might be a husband who believes every time he logs on to the computer that he has won the lotterie or that a poor defenseless African man needs money wired to him. Now, this husband might get a phone call from someone claiming to know him and ask for room and board at your house. and without a second thought, he might say yes (to his defense, he saw my face and said, "let me talk to my wife and I'll call you back")
3. Play 6 degrees with your spouse. For example: If your wife asks who this guy knows at your school, you should just say something like "I remember talking to person A who knew person B and said they might visit sometime this year and need to bounce medical ideas off of me" I don't know who this could be, but it might happen, you never know.
4. Agree to disagree, until you get to the hard part, asking questions. I mean, For example, you might argue back and forth at the validity of a hypothetical situation (person A and B) and insist that the husband call back the man and find out who he REALLY knows and who gave your # to him. This is  hard and pride hurting, but it's humility (another awesome gift)
5. When you find out that this person knows absolutely no one that you do, that you had a common last name, but STILL asks for a place to stay for 3 days, don't question it. For real, it's a hurting man who needs shelter. Your kids safety is in His hands , right? plus, it's a small apartment, you'll hear if anything happens.
6. Pick him up immediately. Don't waste time with cleaning or thinking, that'll just make you doubt your hospitable nature. Bring him in.
7. Throw a party that night. Invite him. Have him meet all your other friends and find out that he is 6 degrees to someone in the room.
8. The next morning, be sure to leave him in the house alone all day. Give him a key. Don't question anything valuable, or keep him from eating your peanut butter cups. you've already shuffled all your kids so he can have a room alone, why not the crown jewels too.
9. Have another party, in town, which you pay for him to travel with you because you don't want him to feel too cooped up in your home.. Give him breathing space. Buy him a train ticket.
10. Breathe. You've achieved a true level of hospitality. Everyone survived and he even left you a nice note. You trully are blessed.

Actually, it probably wasn't that bad. Josh (I don't know his last name) ended up being a pretty stand up guy who actually was a doctor on his way to Africa but needed visas. We found people to vouch for him eentually and my girls weren't afraid of him. Now, how do I teach them about stranger danger... next blog.