My kids and I always love to play what would you do... we've done all sorts of things like "what would you do with a million dollars" "how would we bring in customers if we owned a subway", but then i asked myself "what would I do if I could make my own website".
I'm dying to make a website that I could ask questions about race, religion, or even how to work technology without people thinking i'm hinting at something and therefore being a bigot, insensitive, or just dumb. I would but my friends are too passionate about what they believe. Even if I could ask the question without anyone judging me, everyone who would respond, would then be judged. come on it's true!
The problem is some of these questions are on everyone's mind. How am I supposed to understand YOU when "I should already know that" or "you should not ask things like that"... And then what about things that are subjective... I don't know anyone who can be objective. Well, maybe you can :)
I mean, I'm 30, shouldn't I be able to find out things like this. I guess only 80 year olds can get away with saying insensitive things and people humor them.
Search This Blog
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
For those who need support parenting.
Here's the backstory. two days ago we sat down to potroast and veggies for dinner. We don't have it very often and to me it's a special meal. Everyone was eating just fine when Ella decided that she couldn't (ok wouldn't) eat anymore. It would have been ok if she had eaten more than 1 bite. Now, we've been struggling a lot lately to get her to eat and with her ballet performance coming up, she's dancing a few hours each day. She needs food to keep up. She's eating a small carb breakfast, giving away her lunch, and then refusing dinner (while asking for candy). I do not blame her ballet because NONE of them are like this.
Johnny decided that she wasn't getting up from the table til she had eaten something. I left to go out while Johnny put them to bed, and as the story goes, he went to put zoe/ada in the bath when the fight began. Ella threw her plate of food across the floor.
Now, the child better be glad that I wasn't home, but Johnny took care of it as well as he thought fit. After a lot of tears and discipline, Johnny called me saying she felt SUPERBAD and she wasn't allowed TV for the rest of the week and sent to bed. Hmmmm.... real bad? well, since she dances every day but tuesday this week, I'm going to up the anty.
She came home yesterday from school and I told her nothing with a screen. No TV, no computer, no video games. And we've had some scary vans in the neighborhood so no roaming looking for friends.
I love Ella. She would rather be bored than think about the problem. My child IS strongwilled. I dont know who she thinks she might be punishing by just sitting in one spot for EVER, but something she needs to deal with. I tried to help her, she said she'd rather complain about how she's just sitting there doing nothing... ok.
After she got angry pointing out "if I had known that my punishment was going to be so bad, I would have eaten" I told her to remember that for dinner. She was great for the rest of the evening, she helped out, and listened, and used her manners.
Then Round 2. We sat down with spaghetti and bread. she knew ahead of time what she had to eat. I warned her before she ate her bread that if she ate her bread and then claimed to not be hungry so she didn't have to eat dinner, that we would repeat last night so to think carefully if she'd be able to eat it all, and maybe eat her pasta first. She said ok and seemed to be doing ok.
Til johnny got home. I told him the situation before I had to leave, and I heard as I left "I'm not hungry anymore"... ooch. Johnny said after a couple hours of battling, he said, "you know I felt bad for your yesterday. You really seemed sorry and crying, and I expected you to not lie to me anymore" Her response: "I never said i wouldn't lie to you again. It's your problem that you believed that, and I'll do it again"
pause for dramatic thought affect. She wrote mean notes on her door and wouldn't talk to johnny, and for the first time woke up with the grudge still. I tried to talk to her, but you could hear the bitterness in her talking. How painful. for all of us. And this reminds me of what I was teaching on Sunday to the youth group.
Ephesians 2: 1-8"
" As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and Satan... gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following it's desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
" but because of his great love for us , God , who is rich in mercy made us alive with christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved... [he did this] in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by woks, so that no one can boast"
Sometimes I think I'm so good and i have always made great decisions and what is right, but even a 7 year old can be sinful. As a 30 year old I am SO dirty with the pains i've caused others (transgressions) and the pains I've caused God (sins) that I really am by nature an object of wrath, and shouldn't be allowed out into the general public.
THank you God for your grace when I don't want to share it. I pray that Ella sees one day your incomparable riches of your grace expressed in kindness. Until then, I'll try to remember what you've done for me and act accordingly because the next verse says
" For we are God's workmanship, created in christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"... chapter 1 reminds me that you fulfill all things in every way, so whether I "fail" or not, your plan will be accomplished, but i'm hoping to be a help.
So remember parents: we can be down on our kids, we can be down on ourselves, but there is redemption for every person: WHOLLY.
Johnny decided that she wasn't getting up from the table til she had eaten something. I left to go out while Johnny put them to bed, and as the story goes, he went to put zoe/ada in the bath when the fight began. Ella threw her plate of food across the floor.
Now, the child better be glad that I wasn't home, but Johnny took care of it as well as he thought fit. After a lot of tears and discipline, Johnny called me saying she felt SUPERBAD and she wasn't allowed TV for the rest of the week and sent to bed. Hmmmm.... real bad? well, since she dances every day but tuesday this week, I'm going to up the anty.
She came home yesterday from school and I told her nothing with a screen. No TV, no computer, no video games. And we've had some scary vans in the neighborhood so no roaming looking for friends.
I love Ella. She would rather be bored than think about the problem. My child IS strongwilled. I dont know who she thinks she might be punishing by just sitting in one spot for EVER, but something she needs to deal with. I tried to help her, she said she'd rather complain about how she's just sitting there doing nothing... ok.
After she got angry pointing out "if I had known that my punishment was going to be so bad, I would have eaten" I told her to remember that for dinner. She was great for the rest of the evening, she helped out, and listened, and used her manners.
Then Round 2. We sat down with spaghetti and bread. she knew ahead of time what she had to eat. I warned her before she ate her bread that if she ate her bread and then claimed to not be hungry so she didn't have to eat dinner, that we would repeat last night so to think carefully if she'd be able to eat it all, and maybe eat her pasta first. She said ok and seemed to be doing ok.
Til johnny got home. I told him the situation before I had to leave, and I heard as I left "I'm not hungry anymore"... ooch. Johnny said after a couple hours of battling, he said, "you know I felt bad for your yesterday. You really seemed sorry and crying, and I expected you to not lie to me anymore" Her response: "I never said i wouldn't lie to you again. It's your problem that you believed that, and I'll do it again"
pause for dramatic thought affect. She wrote mean notes on her door and wouldn't talk to johnny, and for the first time woke up with the grudge still. I tried to talk to her, but you could hear the bitterness in her talking. How painful. for all of us. And this reminds me of what I was teaching on Sunday to the youth group.
Ephesians 2: 1-8"
" As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and Satan... gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following it's desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath.
" but because of his great love for us , God , who is rich in mercy made us alive with christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have been saved... [he did this] in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by woks, so that no one can boast"
Sometimes I think I'm so good and i have always made great decisions and what is right, but even a 7 year old can be sinful. As a 30 year old I am SO dirty with the pains i've caused others (transgressions) and the pains I've caused God (sins) that I really am by nature an object of wrath, and shouldn't be allowed out into the general public.
THank you God for your grace when I don't want to share it. I pray that Ella sees one day your incomparable riches of your grace expressed in kindness. Until then, I'll try to remember what you've done for me and act accordingly because the next verse says
" For we are God's workmanship, created in christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"... chapter 1 reminds me that you fulfill all things in every way, so whether I "fail" or not, your plan will be accomplished, but i'm hoping to be a help.
So remember parents: we can be down on our kids, we can be down on ourselves, but there is redemption for every person: WHOLLY.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
working dysfunctionally
This is the name of my book I'd like to write. Yes, when you turn old (or 30) it's time to write atleast one book and think you'll actually be successful. I would like to write a book about my families. Now the name is slightly deceiving. I do'nt want to give the impression that there's something wrong with any particular member of my family, but that 1. every family is crazy and 2. craziness has to work together.
I have had friends ask for pictures of a particular house to confirm such craziness, but hey, that's offensive (darn it. wish I could; sorry :(....) The only thing that's holding me back from writing this GREAT NOVEL is well, my dysfunctional family. How can I publish stories of my childhood/adulthood without offending someone... how would you like me put something about you in a book that you thought was completely normal (it's not) and let others laugh at you.
So at first I thought I would just wait til they died... yah, I'm that sick
but then there's even repercussions from that. How do you tell someone's mom, sister etc that their relative is crazy and worth laughing at. personally I think I could just write this book about me, or maybe anonymously. I would also like to write stories from the dysfunctional families I just know. so add a story if you dare.
So, really the book is about how even such completely different families can make things work even when they come from such opposites... because frankly, I may think johnny's family is crazy, but he thinks mine is just as crazy (and secretly, we all agree).
so, if you hear a story about my "friend" you may never know who I'm talking about... maybe me, maybe my mom, maybe my mother in law... just don't tell them. ;)
I have had friends ask for pictures of a particular house to confirm such craziness, but hey, that's offensive (darn it. wish I could; sorry :(....) The only thing that's holding me back from writing this GREAT NOVEL is well, my dysfunctional family. How can I publish stories of my childhood/adulthood without offending someone... how would you like me put something about you in a book that you thought was completely normal (it's not) and let others laugh at you.
So at first I thought I would just wait til they died... yah, I'm that sick
but then there's even repercussions from that. How do you tell someone's mom, sister etc that their relative is crazy and worth laughing at. personally I think I could just write this book about me, or maybe anonymously. I would also like to write stories from the dysfunctional families I just know. so add a story if you dare.
So, really the book is about how even such completely different families can make things work even when they come from such opposites... because frankly, I may think johnny's family is crazy, but he thinks mine is just as crazy (and secretly, we all agree).
so, if you hear a story about my "friend" you may never know who I'm talking about... maybe me, maybe my mom, maybe my mother in law... just don't tell them. ;)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
fear is in the eye of the beholder
Driving through my neighborhood, there's a house that put some CRAZY things in their front yard. There are men dragging women by their hair, someone stabbing someone in the back... and when I heard about it, I was like who'd do that? When I saw it, I could tell it was teenagers...didn't look like a big deal, but then I started hearing stories of kids having nightmares looking at it.
I remember watching poltergeist when I was YOUNG... for years I struggled with whether to open or shut the closet door because I didn't know whether I wanted to see it coming, or try to shut it out for as long as possible.
I still find myself jumping into bed when it's dark in the room so that stupid clown doesn't try to drag me under.
I'm 30 years old and I am still somewhat afraid of the dark. wow!
Did you know there is a flashlight, but no such thing as a flashdark?
I think just about ANYONE who goes into true and utter darkness (like those caves) has an instant fear when the lights go out. I'm pretty sure Gollum was so jumpy in the Lord of the Rings because of the darkness that was surrounding him for so many years.
The funny thing: people get used to the dark...
I may hate the dark, but after years of being married, I can now admit that I can go to the bathroom without turning on a light... not comfortably, but done.
How sad that my children still scream when I enter the party store, but I didn't even notice the gruesome scene at the door. How sad that I couldn't see the harm in the dumb things teens put up in their yard, but a lot of kids were having nightmares... I've gotten used to it.
How many other things am I used to?
How many years ago was it taboo to get pregnant in school, but now we just kinda shrug when the teens let us know they can't remember who knocked them up.
And something that makes me cringe, may make you kinda giggle. Fear is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
things that I am terrified of: divorce, abuse, abortion, and denial... that last one sounds silly. but what if you knew the truth, and someone could repeat it back to you, but then deny it... what if I said, "man I hate it when someone _____________," and you're like , "oh yah me too!" but then when I pointed out, "uh that's what you're doing" you give an excuse why it's ok for you... i had a friend who once said, " Iwould never be friends with someone who loved Jesus", and I was like, "oh, you mean me" and they said, "well, you're the exception." I'm kinda afraid of that... what does that say about me... is that good or bad for Jesus? Does that mean you think I 'm a poser... or what?
So what are you afraid of that's silly? what are you not afraid of that maybe you should be? Do you still hop 4 feet into your bed.... are you allowing your children to watch inappropriate tv because it doesn't scare you anymore? Time to reevaluate our fears... just in light of halloween :)
I remember watching poltergeist when I was YOUNG... for years I struggled with whether to open or shut the closet door because I didn't know whether I wanted to see it coming, or try to shut it out for as long as possible.
I still find myself jumping into bed when it's dark in the room so that stupid clown doesn't try to drag me under.
I'm 30 years old and I am still somewhat afraid of the dark. wow!
Did you know there is a flashlight, but no such thing as a flashdark?
I think just about ANYONE who goes into true and utter darkness (like those caves) has an instant fear when the lights go out. I'm pretty sure Gollum was so jumpy in the Lord of the Rings because of the darkness that was surrounding him for so many years.
The funny thing: people get used to the dark...
I may hate the dark, but after years of being married, I can now admit that I can go to the bathroom without turning on a light... not comfortably, but done.
How sad that my children still scream when I enter the party store, but I didn't even notice the gruesome scene at the door. How sad that I couldn't see the harm in the dumb things teens put up in their yard, but a lot of kids were having nightmares... I've gotten used to it.
How many other things am I used to?
How many years ago was it taboo to get pregnant in school, but now we just kinda shrug when the teens let us know they can't remember who knocked them up.
And something that makes me cringe, may make you kinda giggle. Fear is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
things that I am terrified of: divorce, abuse, abortion, and denial... that last one sounds silly. but what if you knew the truth, and someone could repeat it back to you, but then deny it... what if I said, "man I hate it when someone _____________," and you're like , "oh yah me too!" but then when I pointed out, "uh that's what you're doing" you give an excuse why it's ok for you... i had a friend who once said, " Iwould never be friends with someone who loved Jesus", and I was like, "oh, you mean me" and they said, "well, you're the exception." I'm kinda afraid of that... what does that say about me... is that good or bad for Jesus? Does that mean you think I 'm a poser... or what?
So what are you afraid of that's silly? what are you not afraid of that maybe you should be? Do you still hop 4 feet into your bed.... are you allowing your children to watch inappropriate tv because it doesn't scare you anymore? Time to reevaluate our fears... just in light of halloween :)
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
a scene from the Ali Mixer Campbell movie
I went to okeefenokee swamp last week. It was just me and zoe and ada in the car. Imagine if you will, driving down one of those highways that make you wonder every 5 minutes if you should turn around because maybe you took the wrong road and there are NO cars out there. I felt like I was in a place that either was from what's eating gilbert grape, or part twilight, and part french kiss (yes, but you'd understand if you were there).
I looked out my window and saw many abandoned farms. they had rows dug out, but over time weeds had taken over. It reminded me of Isaiah that I was studying. In chapter 5 there was a story of a vineyard, where the gardener chose the most fertile land, choicest vines, best materials and worked that vineyard, setting up permanent protection and great care. But after he planted his vines, they still made bad grapes. He had expected so much fruit that he made a winepress, but ended up with nothing, so he allowed thistles to take over and refused water on he land... all to represent God's work with the israelites and his disappointment in their lack of faith.
Why do I mention this? Doesn't happen very often that I notice and have those kind of reminders.
so I keep driving as I hear my girls wonder if we're there OVER AND OVER. I bribed, plead, I even dared zoe to close her eyes for 30 seconds because I KNEW that she would fall asleep, none to my avail. Eventually as I ignored them, I finally heard silence. I look in the rearview mirror and see both girls asleep. I turn up my 80's music and have that time... you know it; it's that time where you break out into the loudest silent dance party you can think of because you can drive in silence.
now keep in mind that it only lasted for 30 minutes... it ended with Zoe screaming because her booty hurt and she couldn't get comfy and she was tired and , and, and...
I can't take it anymore: get out! I pull over on the empty road and force my children to get out of the car and have a dance party in the middle of the road till they were too tired to stand. "No more complaining anymore, or you'll be forced to walk down the road while I drive behind you!" about 20 minutes later, I pull over to take a picture, when I notice that the cars stopping next to me are my family coming from florida... for the rest of the ride, I get to drive along with my sister, brother, the cousins and my mom... what a great ending to an ... um... interesting drive. I guess this is what happens when you're 30.
I looked out my window and saw many abandoned farms. they had rows dug out, but over time weeds had taken over. It reminded me of Isaiah that I was studying. In chapter 5 there was a story of a vineyard, where the gardener chose the most fertile land, choicest vines, best materials and worked that vineyard, setting up permanent protection and great care. But after he planted his vines, they still made bad grapes. He had expected so much fruit that he made a winepress, but ended up with nothing, so he allowed thistles to take over and refused water on he land... all to represent God's work with the israelites and his disappointment in their lack of faith.
Why do I mention this? Doesn't happen very often that I notice and have those kind of reminders.
so I keep driving as I hear my girls wonder if we're there OVER AND OVER. I bribed, plead, I even dared zoe to close her eyes for 30 seconds because I KNEW that she would fall asleep, none to my avail. Eventually as I ignored them, I finally heard silence. I look in the rearview mirror and see both girls asleep. I turn up my 80's music and have that time... you know it; it's that time where you break out into the loudest silent dance party you can think of because you can drive in silence.
now keep in mind that it only lasted for 30 minutes... it ended with Zoe screaming because her booty hurt and she couldn't get comfy and she was tired and , and, and...
I can't take it anymore: get out! I pull over on the empty road and force my children to get out of the car and have a dance party in the middle of the road till they were too tired to stand. "No more complaining anymore, or you'll be forced to walk down the road while I drive behind you!" about 20 minutes later, I pull over to take a picture, when I notice that the cars stopping next to me are my family coming from florida... for the rest of the ride, I get to drive along with my sister, brother, the cousins and my mom... what a great ending to an ... um... interesting drive. I guess this is what happens when you're 30.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
socially UN-networked
Last weekend I watched the social network (which is the story of how facebook was made). It was a very interesting movie FULL of smart alleks and I felt right at home, but one thing caught my attention. One of the first things they used to defame the maker was the relive the breakup with his girlfriend. They talked about how he was drunk and blogging and said *ahem* unflattering things about his girlfriend who broke up with him.
It made me remember one of the reasons that I didn't want to do a blog. I will UNDOUBTEDLY say something REALLY offensive to someone and regret it for the rest of my life... I mean heck, just opening my mouth, I did it today!
My only consolation is that I mud up my reputation (what reputation?) for a good reason. For instance, have you seen the billboard that has sad-faced puppies and kittens and the caption is, "they're dying for you to be responsible". I mean, COME ON, what kind of person does that to you: Side story: I actually tried to adopt a kitty from a place that will remain nameless and they actually turned me down because I wanted to take the kitty home that day!!!! So if I adopt a kitty and then I read that billboard, am I still irresponsible for not saving all of them.. there's just something wrong there, and they've lost points with me. BUT , saving puppies and kittens is a good cause... they did it in the name of saving animals.
If I offend you because I'm pro-life, or because I don't believe a person should have sex before marriage, or I'm a Christian, I'm actually not too sorry for it because it's for a good cause... I want to value ALL life, not just whales. I want my child to learn respect for themselves and the opposite sex, protect them from STD's and children when they shouldn't have to deal with that kind of responsibility. And I would definitely want all people , no matter how flawed or how people have condemned them in the past to know that God is not man, and wants to free them from the condemnation and guilt from anything they've done or thought. I want them to not die in eternal separation from the God that I love so much.
I don't want give you the impression that I don't live what I say and say what I mean... I actually would have less respect for a person who couldn't stick to what they know to be true and seek out the truth, then to agree with everyone's thoughts.
I'll end with the social network. The only thing I appreciate about the movie (well, one of them) is that his personality was consistent with the flashbacks, even those who were suing him portrayed him correctly... gives a little credibility.
It made me remember one of the reasons that I didn't want to do a blog. I will UNDOUBTEDLY say something REALLY offensive to someone and regret it for the rest of my life... I mean heck, just opening my mouth, I did it today!
My only consolation is that I mud up my reputation (what reputation?) for a good reason. For instance, have you seen the billboard that has sad-faced puppies and kittens and the caption is, "they're dying for you to be responsible". I mean, COME ON, what kind of person does that to you: Side story: I actually tried to adopt a kitty from a place that will remain nameless and they actually turned me down because I wanted to take the kitty home that day!!!! So if I adopt a kitty and then I read that billboard, am I still irresponsible for not saving all of them.. there's just something wrong there, and they've lost points with me. BUT , saving puppies and kittens is a good cause... they did it in the name of saving animals.
If I offend you because I'm pro-life, or because I don't believe a person should have sex before marriage, or I'm a Christian, I'm actually not too sorry for it because it's for a good cause... I want to value ALL life, not just whales. I want my child to learn respect for themselves and the opposite sex, protect them from STD's and children when they shouldn't have to deal with that kind of responsibility. And I would definitely want all people , no matter how flawed or how people have condemned them in the past to know that God is not man, and wants to free them from the condemnation and guilt from anything they've done or thought. I want them to not die in eternal separation from the God that I love so much.
I don't want give you the impression that I don't live what I say and say what I mean... I actually would have less respect for a person who couldn't stick to what they know to be true and seek out the truth, then to agree with everyone's thoughts.
I'll end with the social network. The only thing I appreciate about the movie (well, one of them) is that his personality was consistent with the flashbacks, even those who were suing him portrayed him correctly... gives a little credibility.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
I'm the Macgyver of moms
This is probably the sickest i've been since I was pregnant with Ella. Don't get me wrong: I'm not complaining, I'm just prefacing. When I had ella, I lost 20 lbs, went the the ER and stole Zofran (it had no generic and it wasn't covered by medicaid back then). I was very preemptive with Zoe and Ada. We specifically picked insurance that covered Zofran, rationed, and dealt with the migraines. This time around I have access to all the Zofran I can handle, BUT it's not really putting a dent in this. Ok, I'm not puking but a couple times a day, but the nausea and tiredness/dizziness is rampant.
I'm planning this time around... I have to get creative. I get in my car in the morning and plan the shortest round trip. The first thing I do is look around my car for an object that I can use as a barf bag. I have yet to pull over in the drive, but it's only a matter of time. During the day I try to figure out how to cook meals without actually cooking them or go in the kitchen. I try to figure out what to do with the girls that doesn't involve me moving. I think what I can cook without ever going grocery shopping. I only have another 9 weeks and who knows what kind of resources I can come up with. So when you have a problem, yo I'll solve it. check out my hook while the dj revolves it.
I'm planning this time around... I have to get creative. I get in my car in the morning and plan the shortest round trip. The first thing I do is look around my car for an object that I can use as a barf bag. I have yet to pull over in the drive, but it's only a matter of time. During the day I try to figure out how to cook meals without actually cooking them or go in the kitchen. I try to figure out what to do with the girls that doesn't involve me moving. I think what I can cook without ever going grocery shopping. I only have another 9 weeks and who knows what kind of resources I can come up with. So when you have a problem, yo I'll solve it. check out my hook while the dj revolves it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)