Yes, I'm uber holy

Josh is in the middle with the beard. He seemed to enjoy the party at our house!

I know, you look at me and see a freak with a super gift... called hospitality. This past week, I took a lesson in stupidity hospitality.
How to take your talents to the next level:
1. Have a common last name. This allows for everyone to call you or ask for you by said common last name and someone will just give up your personal information without blinking twice. For example: the last name Campbell. Someone could just show up at your school and say they're looking for the Campbells and There might be a person at the school who just hands over your phone number. (don't I wish I was still a Mixer now?)
2. Have an unsuspecting spouse. Yes, someone who takes EVERYONE at their word. For example: there might be a husband who believes every time he logs on to the computer that he has won the lotterie or that a poor defenseless African man needs money wired to him. Now, this husband might get a phone call from someone claiming to know him and ask for room and board at your house. and without a second thought, he might say yes (to his defense, he saw my face and said, "let me talk to my wife and I'll call you back")
3. Play 6 degrees with your spouse. For example: If your wife asks who this guy knows at your school, you should just say something like "I remember talking to person A who knew person B and said they might visit sometime this year and need to bounce medical ideas off of me" I don't know who this could be, but it might happen, you never know.
4. Agree to disagree, until you get to the hard part, asking questions. I mean, For example, you might argue back and forth at the validity of a hypothetical situation (person A and B) and insist that the husband call back the man and find out who he REALLY knows and who gave your # to him. This is  hard and pride hurting, but it's humility (another awesome gift)
5. When you find out that this person knows absolutely no one that you do, that you had a common last name, but STILL asks for a place to stay for 3 days, don't question it. For real, it's a hurting man who needs shelter. Your kids safety is in His hands , right? plus, it's a small apartment, you'll hear if anything happens.
6. Pick him up immediately. Don't waste time with cleaning or thinking, that'll just make you doubt your hospitable nature. Bring him in.
7. Throw a party that night. Invite him. Have him meet all your other friends and find out that he is 6 degrees to someone in the room.
8. The next morning, be sure to leave him in the house alone all day. Give him a key. Don't question anything valuable, or keep him from eating your peanut butter cups. you've already shuffled all your kids so he can have a room alone, why not the crown jewels too.
9. Have another party, in town, which you pay for him to travel with you because you don't want him to feel too cooped up in your home.. Give him breathing space. Buy him a train ticket.
10. Breathe. You've achieved a true level of hospitality. Everyone survived and he even left you a nice note. You trully are blessed.

Actually, it probably wasn't that bad. Josh (I don't know his last name) ended up being a pretty stand up guy who actually was a doctor on his way to Africa but needed visas. We found people to vouch for him eentually and my girls weren't afraid of him. Now, how do I teach them about stranger danger... next blog.

If the sweedish chef were French

That would be me. I have to be the messiest cook in the world. Every time I cook noodles, they are all over the kitchen. I can't break an egg without it drooling all over the counter... and flour. Let's not talk about flour.
So I've really been trying to keep up our tradition of making pancakes every saturday once we got here. I went online and searched for the french names of the ingredients (no, my girls do not like crepes). I have gone to 3 stores and STILL cannot find all the ingredients.
Our school was offering a french cooking course every friday (mainly to know  the words found in french recipes), so I jumped on it. HOW FUN. I love to cook, and I get to make french pastries. Win-win.
I showed up today and we labeled ingredients. Then we read (in french) the directions. Then she split us up into groups of 3or 4 to make our first dish: profiteroles (creme puffs). Of course , all the beginners were in a group together, but we actually made the best batch thanks to Sonia, our portugeuse grandma. They were great! I am going to love cooking class...
So I took the oportunity to ask my teacher where I could find baking powder. She couldn't understand me. I thought maybe I was pronouncing the word incorrectly, so I repeated it and then asked other students to help me. She really had NEVER heard of baking powder. She tried to tell me to get yeast. I kept telling her no, but when she finally walked away, another girl told me what the problem was. THERE IS NO SUCH THING HERE. and baking soda is only for cleaning. She said that's why french people love cookies so much from america is because they don't have anything like that they can make.
Then the girl disappeared and returned with a new can of baking powder that someone had mailed her and told me I could have it... sniff sniff... I'm gonna love it here (and perhaps teach a few things myself)

Bravest girls in the world

I can't tell you how proud of my girls I am. I never would be able to do what they are doing right now. We went on saturday to visit the school Ella, Zoe, and Ada would be attending. The liason met us out front and gave the tour and tested the girls to find out what grade they would be placed in. Ada cried, Zoe did well, and Ella gave the America answer of "English is the most widely used language" to a READING comprehension test (the answer was Chinese due to the amount of people who live there).
Ada was placed at the school even though she was way behind on math, and the youngest student to learn french there. Zoe was placed in 2nd grade even though she's way behind on math. And Ella is in the highest grade, and is well on her way to the college (middle school).
Day one came. I really didn't know what to think as we were walking there (in the rain no doubt). We were supposed to drop them off at the gate and run for our school so we could drop off Nyla and get to class without being late. How can I drop my girls off at the gate of a school they've never been to. I can't walk them to class, and they can't even ask where to go.
When we showed up, everyone was standing outside, staring at us. The gates opened.
There my sweet girls were. They wrapped their arms around each other, and walked together into the school, arm in arm.
I cried. How could I not? I've never seen such bravery.
We came back at lunchtime , though.
2 hours of party in the middle of the day, and no school on wednesday.
All in all, it is going well. Ada cried a little, but the only other american girl there waved at her, and her day was made right as rain.
Today we dropped them off, and girls were actually standing at the gate calling Ella and Zoe's name.
"It's boring." they say, but then again, 8 hours of no one being able to talk to you or you understanding what they say or teach can do that to you.
They do enjoy English class. "They can't say the TH in sixth" "They were writing and crying" "They all ask and write down things for me to read and answer"
I'm so proud of my girls. France is looking up.

My girls on their first day. 50 and rainy, but all smiles

my girls school work... Ella Aced her test. Zoe practices math and Ada practices cursive

Warm fuzzies

It's been a while: sorry.
I wanted to mention that this Christmastime, I had 2 of the better compliments I've ever had in my life. These compliments weren't about the way I look and I don't think the people who gave them to me even realized they were complimenting me. I feel like I walked away like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty... better for life and wanting life to be better.
For Christmas my aunt brought over a couple friends. We are always happy for guests at the house and these ladies fit right in. One lady came up to us and let Johnny and I know that they read our year end letter. Then she said, "Whoever wrote your letter is a very talented writer"
That doesn't seem like much, but it was to me. I really try to think about how I want to convey my thoughts... I  write a lot like I think, but I either want to convey an emotion or get straight to the point. It was a sweet feeling to hear someone appreciate that effort.
Then the next day I went out with my sister in law. We were just talking and chatting about what we thought we would be when we grew up and did that change etccccccc...
Then she said, " you know, I see you being famous for something you did being you [rather than being a famous actress or something]. Can you imagine me being an activist? or starting world peace? or even just helping out in N. Africa and it affecting the world.... that was an amazing compliment to give me that kind of potential.
This season of life has been hard with moves and setbacks. But I have hope for the future and sweet friends (and strangers) along the way that have given me potential. I can't wait to see what happens over the next year!

First World Problems

Dear Nestle Purelife Water,
     I appreciate that you don't want to shortchange me on my bottled water that I pay more for than a gallon of gas. You fill your water literally all the way to the lid which is much appreciated. But, because of your environmental conscience you decided to use less plastic in your bottle making, creating a more flimsy bottle. Every time I open your water, because you thought so much about my money and my health, I squish the bottle, shooting water out the lid and all over my pants. Please kindly, help the economy by hiring a person to take one sip out of each bottle for me so that I don't create a situation in the car while I'm driving.
thank you for all your consideration,
Ali Campbell

My refrigerator has buttons on the front that allow me to choose the temperature for both the freezer and fridge side. these buttons are on the same panel as the buttons for the ice and water dispenser. My children constantly turn the fridge to 32 degrees, causing everything in the fridge to freeze over including my organic spinach, ruining it... arg

my bananas don't last long enough.

My family wants to buy presents that I don't need for Christmas.

I really like the as seen on tv section of the store: it really might  make my life easier for 29.95. Why can't I get a job?

Pinterest: why do people pin things  that they want to wear but don't own or afford....

Microwaves are too slow.

I hate having to wait for the Dr.

I hate how many pills my family takes.

Facebook: some people...

Fruit comes year round... I don't even know what's seasonal anymore.

I have too many books.

Why does AMC not allow me to watch walking dead on HULU?

I'm behind on once upon a time...

The funny thing about all of these things is that people , we really do complain about things all the time that we don't realize we are privileged  to have.... Thankfulness. It's a mindset.

dear dumb diet diary

So there is advice out there from the powers that be that says keeping a food journal is good for you. well, if that's right, then keeping a log of how I'm doing on this diet will give me catharsis.
This was my first week.
I have to eat 5 of their meals a day and make one of my own. I atleast had some variety: eggs, chicken, beef, fish...
I had my struggles: someone  talked me into cheesecake (ok partly myself), I had to go to five guys for my mom and NOT eat their fries, and then there was the struggle of THIER FOOD.
Let me introduce you to my nemesis: the mustard pretzel stick...
it's deceiving, it's called a pretzel, but actually it's just mustard flavored , protien powder laced dirt that's been glued together. I bought a box of it. 7 bags come in a box, and since I paid for it, I have to eat all of it... UUGGHHH. So every day I choke down these delicious cracker type things... Good thing is: they make me completely not hungry.
Here's my unicorn: the peach mango smoothie. I have made this thing every night this week. I can not get it QUIIIIIIIte right. Sometimes it tastes watery. Sometimes it tastes chunky.
So how did this week go:
drum roll please
I lost 6 lbs!!!!
My plan this week... going out of town... dang I want some french fries!

By rock bottom, I mean fat bottom

I love a good cookie (just call this before picture)

I have hit rock bottom.
I will never tell you how much I weigh. Why? Imagine this: My supportive loving husband of 12 years is sitting with me a couple months ago. I haven't had the guts to tell him how much I've gained in over a year. Then I can't take it anymore. I need help because I weigh just too much... surely, my wonderful , amazing husband can encourage me in this endeavor ( and for the most part, to his credit, he has tried to help me and encourage me) but as I tell him how much I weigh, his response... "WHAT!!!??? Are you kidding me? How did it get this bad?"
well.... ok. I think I'll just keep things to myself.
My motivation has been nothing. I really just want french fries every day.
I've gotten to the point that I don't really care about food... it hurts to eat, it makes me sick, but I keep shoveling it in.
I hate exercising. I've been trying to do couch to 5k... it hurts to run. I'm so heavy.
Ada climbed in bed with me a couple days ago and said I was so comfortable and fluffy.... hmmm.
So I finally called my aunt who's been on this medical progam for the past couple months. She's lost over 20 lbs and seems incredibly happy.
I am now part of the Medifast system... AHHHH. I swore I would never do a program. I really want to eat healthy on my own, but I've hit a time in my life that it seems like I just can't do it.

Zoe trying to help me figure out what some of 

these veggies look like

What I'm hoping to happen:
I want exercise to be easier. Running is painful when you're heavy.
I want to work with my depression. Let's  reverse this cycle from downward to upward
I want to eat healthier and get a boost at the same time
I want to play with my kids
I want to fall in love with healthy foods (my sister can make a salad sound like chocolate cake)




The reason I chose this one
I hate weight watchers because I hate counting.

My last hurrah!!! BB's classic ganache chocolate cake

I hate nutrisystem because it's all planned for you and they seem like they trick you with having food like burgers and cake when in real life you really shouldn't be gorging on those things
I like this one because it has some meals planned for you, and some you are forced to cook for yourself so you learn what's healthy to eat.
You have to go to weekly check ins to help you with any poor choices , weight plateaus, if you're going out of town strategies, etc.
It's backed by doctors... monitored etc.
The thing I hate: the price....
So You're gonna see me soon... as ada put it: When you get skinny, I'll miss the real you.
 Honey, the skinny me IS the real me!

This is most of my food for the next week... mmmm (feel the sarcasm)