I've written a lot of things on depression and there is so much to understand that I can't even tell you all of them. This week was a bad one for me, and it's hard for Johnny to understand, communicate, and even talk to me during a time like this.
Then I saw that Robbin Williams died. It broke my heart. I have to write about this.
He was an amazing man. He WAS funny, but there was so much more to him.
I once watched a Lifetime movie on his life (about the time of Patch Adams coming out) and of course I was on the edge of my seat.
But the more I watched the video-ography, the more I could see that he was depressed. That was the day I started pr*ying for Robin Williams.
See, I can totally understand. He was funny, but he had absolutely no outlet for sadness or anger or even a normal day. Then add depression into the mix. That is why I think he branched out into what dreams may come and law and order... he wanted to vent his dark thoughts, but people criticized him.
See, supposedly I'm funny too.
When people hear me complain or even talk like I'm having a hard day, people automatically walk away from me. They want me to lift them up. They want me to be funny. Then when you add depression into the mix, I feel like I've REALLY let them down. I should have hid it better, I should have held it in.
his movie Photoshop was a way for him to be sad by only acting sad. It's the same for Chanda Pierce. It's the same for a lot of people. Actually, the funnier a person is , the more I reach out and love on them.
We need to let those who have deps let it out. Don't walk away. Don't pity, Don't frown... just acknowledge and then remind them of awesome things... mourn with those who mourn, but also rejoice with those who rejoice...
The news of Robin Williams broke my heart because I don't believe he ever found Hope or the Truth. But instead of just saying depression is a cruel lie... take action. Be a light to all those around you, stranger and otherwise. Say a kind word. Point out the worlds beauty. Give a reason for thankfulness for themselves. Even a smile.
Make sure Robin Williams doesn't happen again!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Go to bed
8:30: Ella, go to bed. I know it's hard for you to fall asleep, so I'm giving you time to calm down and read... kisses, hugs, goodnights, sleep tights, pr*yer, love you, door cracked.
9:15: ella comes out to pee. Comes in the living room on the other side of the house. "sorry, I just had to pee. I'll say goodnight now."... kisses, hugs, goodnights, love you... off to bed
9:35: I see a shadow walk across the house. "who's up?" Ella: it's just me. It's really bright in my bedroom, so I'm going around the house turning lights off. Can I turn the light off in the room you're sitting in "no, I'm in here, if you don't like the brightness, close your door" Ella" it's too hot. ok I'll go to bed now.
9:40:Ella: I forgot to kiss you goodnight when I went to my room a minute ago, I'll do it now
"You've already kissed me three times now. I love you, but you have to go to bed. Stop getting up."
Ella: I'm done. I'm off... kisses, hugs, love you, shove to her room.
10:00 Ella: I can't sleep.
I try to ignore, but she stares blankly at me for 5 minutes and wins the staring contest.
"of course you can't sleep. You keep getting up. If you'd just lay there, you'd fall asleep. Why don't you read your book."
Here comes one of 2 answers; Either she finished her book, or it wasn't entertaining enough so she can't read it.
"well, it is 10 pm. Really you should fall asleep or you'll never wake up in the morning."
Ella: ok, well, I love you.... I begrudgingly kiss her AGAIN, and say, please stay in bed.
ALL IS QUIET.
until 11:15: Ella comes into my room: I have to pee. Is it ok if I go?
"well, if you don't go, you'll be up all night thinking about it right?"
Ella: yes
"so why do you have to tell me you have to pee? I mean, you'll go whether I give you permission or not right. Just go... and go to bed!"
Ella is in the bathroom so long I forgot she even woke up.
11:45: Ella: ok night I love you...
"don't kiss me. just pee. go to bed. stop getting up. you're worse than your 3 year old sister"
Ella: I'm so tired. I love you.
7am: "ella get up."
7:15: "ella get up."
7:30: "you have to get dressed, or you'll miss breakfast and I'll have to start dragging you to school"
8 am: "you have 10 minutes "
8:10 Ella: will you braid my hair? you promised last night. you did Zoe's and Ada's...
"yes, because they woke up"
Ella: well, you talked to me all night, I couldn't go to sleep.
And so the cycle continues the next night....
9:15: ella comes out to pee. Comes in the living room on the other side of the house. "sorry, I just had to pee. I'll say goodnight now."... kisses, hugs, goodnights, love you... off to bed
9:35: I see a shadow walk across the house. "who's up?" Ella: it's just me. It's really bright in my bedroom, so I'm going around the house turning lights off. Can I turn the light off in the room you're sitting in "no, I'm in here, if you don't like the brightness, close your door" Ella" it's too hot. ok I'll go to bed now.
9:40:Ella: I forgot to kiss you goodnight when I went to my room a minute ago, I'll do it now
"You've already kissed me three times now. I love you, but you have to go to bed. Stop getting up."
Ella: I'm done. I'm off... kisses, hugs, love you, shove to her room.
10:00 Ella: I can't sleep.
I try to ignore, but she stares blankly at me for 5 minutes and wins the staring contest.
"of course you can't sleep. You keep getting up. If you'd just lay there, you'd fall asleep. Why don't you read your book."
Here comes one of 2 answers; Either she finished her book, or it wasn't entertaining enough so she can't read it.
"well, it is 10 pm. Really you should fall asleep or you'll never wake up in the morning."
Ella: ok, well, I love you.... I begrudgingly kiss her AGAIN, and say, please stay in bed.
ALL IS QUIET.
until 11:15: Ella comes into my room: I have to pee. Is it ok if I go?
"well, if you don't go, you'll be up all night thinking about it right?"
Ella: yes
"so why do you have to tell me you have to pee? I mean, you'll go whether I give you permission or not right. Just go... and go to bed!"
Ella is in the bathroom so long I forgot she even woke up.
11:45: Ella: ok night I love you...
"don't kiss me. just pee. go to bed. stop getting up. you're worse than your 3 year old sister"
Ella: I'm so tired. I love you.
7am: "ella get up."
7:15: "ella get up."
7:30: "you have to get dressed, or you'll miss breakfast and I'll have to start dragging you to school"
8 am: "you have 10 minutes "
8:10 Ella: will you braid my hair? you promised last night. you did Zoe's and Ada's...
"yes, because they woke up"
Ella: well, you talked to me all night, I couldn't go to sleep.
And so the cycle continues the next night....
Monday, July 28, 2014
Yes, I'm uber holy
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| Josh is in the middle with the beard. He seemed to enjoy the party at our house! |
How to take your talents to the next level:
1. Have a common last name. This allows for everyone to call you or ask for you by said common last name and someone will just give up your personal information without blinking twice. For example: the last name Campbell. Someone could just show up at your school and say they're looking for the Campbells and There might be a person at the school who just hands over your phone number. (don't I wish I was still a Mixer now?)
2. Have an unsuspecting spouse. Yes, someone who takes EVERYONE at their word. For example: there might be a husband who believes every time he logs on to the computer that he has won the lotterie or that a poor defenseless African man needs money wired to him. Now, this husband might get a phone call from someone claiming to know him and ask for room and board at your house. and without a second thought, he might say yes (to his defense, he saw my face and said, "let me talk to my wife and I'll call you back")
3. Play 6 degrees with your spouse. For example: If your wife asks who this guy knows at your school, you should just say something like "I remember talking to person A who knew person B and said they might visit sometime this year and need to bounce medical ideas off of me" I don't know who this could be, but it might happen, you never know.
4. Agree to disagree, until you get to the hard part, asking questions. I mean, For example, you might argue back and forth at the validity of a hypothetical situation (person A and B) and insist that the husband call back the man and find out who he REALLY knows and who gave your # to him. This is hard and pride hurting, but it's humility (another awesome gift)
5. When you find out that this person knows absolutely no one that you do, that you had a common last name, but STILL asks for a place to stay for 3 days, don't question it. For real, it's a hurting man who needs shelter. Your kids safety is in His hands , right? plus, it's a small apartment, you'll hear if anything happens.
6. Pick him up immediately. Don't waste time with cleaning or thinking, that'll just make you doubt your hospitable nature. Bring him in.
7. Throw a party that night. Invite him. Have him meet all your other friends and find out that he is 6 degrees to someone in the room.
8. The next morning, be sure to leave him in the house alone all day. Give him a key. Don't question anything valuable, or keep him from eating your peanut butter cups. you've already shuffled all your kids so he can have a room alone, why not the crown jewels too.
9. Have another party, in town, which you pay for him to travel with you because you don't want him to feel too cooped up in your home.. Give him breathing space. Buy him a train ticket.
10. Breathe. You've achieved a true level of hospitality. Everyone survived and he even left you a nice note. You trully are blessed.
Actually, it probably wasn't that bad. Josh (I don't know his last name) ended up being a pretty stand up guy who actually was a doctor on his way to Africa but needed visas. We found people to vouch for him eentually and my girls weren't afraid of him. Now, how do I teach them about stranger danger... next blog.
Friday, January 10, 2014
If the sweedish chef were French
That would be me. I have to be the messiest cook in the world. Every time I cook noodles, they are all over the kitchen. I can't break an egg without it drooling all over the counter... and flour. Let's not talk about flour.
So I've really been trying to keep up our tradition of making pancakes every saturday once we got here. I went online and searched for the french names of the ingredients (no, my girls do not like crepes). I have gone to 3 stores and STILL cannot find all the ingredients.
Our school was offering a french cooking course every friday (mainly to know the words found in french recipes), so I jumped on it. HOW FUN. I love to cook, and I get to make french pastries. Win-win.
I showed up today and we labeled ingredients. Then we read (in french) the directions. Then she split us up into groups of 3or 4 to make our first dish: profiteroles (creme puffs). Of course , all the beginners were in a group together, but we actually made the best batch thanks to Sonia, our portugeuse grandma. They were great! I am going to love cooking class...
So I took the oportunity to ask my teacher where I could find baking powder. She couldn't understand me. I thought maybe I was pronouncing the word incorrectly, so I repeated it and then asked other students to help me. She really had NEVER heard of baking powder. She tried to tell me to get yeast. I kept telling her no, but when she finally walked away, another girl told me what the problem was. THERE IS NO SUCH THING HERE. and baking soda is only for cleaning. She said that's why french people love cookies so much from america is because they don't have anything like that they can make.
Then the girl disappeared and returned with a new can of baking powder that someone had mailed her and told me I could have it... sniff sniff... I'm gonna love it here (and perhaps teach a few things myself)
So I've really been trying to keep up our tradition of making pancakes every saturday once we got here. I went online and searched for the french names of the ingredients (no, my girls do not like crepes). I have gone to 3 stores and STILL cannot find all the ingredients.
Our school was offering a french cooking course every friday (mainly to know the words found in french recipes), so I jumped on it. HOW FUN. I love to cook, and I get to make french pastries. Win-win.
I showed up today and we labeled ingredients. Then we read (in french) the directions. Then she split us up into groups of 3or 4 to make our first dish: profiteroles (creme puffs). Of course , all the beginners were in a group together, but we actually made the best batch thanks to Sonia, our portugeuse grandma. They were great! I am going to love cooking class...
So I took the oportunity to ask my teacher where I could find baking powder. She couldn't understand me. I thought maybe I was pronouncing the word incorrectly, so I repeated it and then asked other students to help me. She really had NEVER heard of baking powder. She tried to tell me to get yeast. I kept telling her no, but when she finally walked away, another girl told me what the problem was. THERE IS NO SUCH THING HERE. and baking soda is only for cleaning. She said that's why french people love cookies so much from america is because they don't have anything like that they can make.
Then the girl disappeared and returned with a new can of baking powder that someone had mailed her and told me I could have it... sniff sniff... I'm gonna love it here (and perhaps teach a few things myself)
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Bravest girls in the world
I can't tell you how proud of my girls I am. I never would be able to do what they are doing right now. We went on saturday to visit the school Ella, Zoe, and Ada would be attending. The liason met us out front and gave the tour and tested the girls to find out what grade they would be placed in. Ada cried, Zoe did well, and Ella gave the America answer of "English is the most widely used language" to a READING comprehension test (the answer was Chinese due to the amount of people who live there).
Ada was placed at the school even though she was way behind on math, and the youngest student to learn french there. Zoe was placed in 2nd grade even though she's way behind on math. And Ella is in the highest grade, and is well on her way to the college (middle school).
Day one came. I really didn't know what to think as we were walking there (in the rain no doubt). We were supposed to drop them off at the gate and run for our school so we could drop off Nyla and get to class without being late. How can I drop my girls off at the gate of a school they've never been to. I can't walk them to class, and they can't even ask where to go.
When we showed up, everyone was standing outside, staring at us. The gates opened.
There my sweet girls were. They wrapped their arms around each other, and walked together into the school, arm in arm.
I cried. How could I not? I've never seen such bravery.
We came back at lunchtime , though.
2 hours of party in the middle of the day, and no school on wednesday.
All in all, it is going well. Ada cried a little, but the only other american girl there waved at her, and her day was made right as rain.
Today we dropped them off, and girls were actually standing at the gate calling Ella and Zoe's name.
"It's boring." they say, but then again, 8 hours of no one being able to talk to you or you understanding what they say or teach can do that to you.
They do enjoy English class. "They can't say the TH in sixth" "They were writing and crying" "They all ask and write down things for me to read and answer"
I'm so proud of my girls. France is looking up.
Ada was placed at the school even though she was way behind on math, and the youngest student to learn french there. Zoe was placed in 2nd grade even though she's way behind on math. And Ella is in the highest grade, and is well on her way to the college (middle school).
Day one came. I really didn't know what to think as we were walking there (in the rain no doubt). We were supposed to drop them off at the gate and run for our school so we could drop off Nyla and get to class without being late. How can I drop my girls off at the gate of a school they've never been to. I can't walk them to class, and they can't even ask where to go.
When we showed up, everyone was standing outside, staring at us. The gates opened.
There my sweet girls were. They wrapped their arms around each other, and walked together into the school, arm in arm.
I cried. How could I not? I've never seen such bravery.
We came back at lunchtime , though.
2 hours of party in the middle of the day, and no school on wednesday.
All in all, it is going well. Ada cried a little, but the only other american girl there waved at her, and her day was made right as rain.
Today we dropped them off, and girls were actually standing at the gate calling Ella and Zoe's name.
"It's boring." they say, but then again, 8 hours of no one being able to talk to you or you understanding what they say or teach can do that to you.
They do enjoy English class. "They can't say the TH in sixth" "They were writing and crying" "They all ask and write down things for me to read and answer"
I'm so proud of my girls. France is looking up.
 |
| My girls on their first day. 50 and rainy, but all smiles |
 |
| my girls school work... Ella Aced her test. Zoe practices math and Ada practices cursive |
Friday, December 27, 2013
Warm fuzzies
It's been a while: sorry.
I wanted to mention that this Christmastime, I had 2 of the better compliments I've ever had in my life. These compliments weren't about the way I look and I don't think the people who gave them to me even realized they were complimenting me. I feel like I walked away like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty... better for life and wanting life to be better.
For Christmas my aunt brought over a couple friends. We are always happy for guests at the house and these ladies fit right in. One lady came up to us and let Johnny and I know that they read our year end letter. Then she said, "Whoever wrote your letter is a very talented writer"
That doesn't seem like much, but it was to me. I really try to think about how I want to convey my thoughts... I write a lot like I think, but I either want to convey an emotion or get straight to the point. It was a sweet feeling to hear someone appreciate that effort.
Then the next day I went out with my sister in law. We were just talking and chatting about what we thought we would be when we grew up and did that change etccccccc...
Then she said, " you know, I see you being famous for something you did being you [rather than being a famous actress or something]. Can you imagine me being an activist? or starting world peace? or even just helping out in N. Africa and it affecting the world.... that was an amazing compliment to give me that kind of potential.
This season of life has been hard with moves and setbacks. But I have hope for the future and sweet friends (and strangers) along the way that have given me potential. I can't wait to see what happens over the next year!
I wanted to mention that this Christmastime, I had 2 of the better compliments I've ever had in my life. These compliments weren't about the way I look and I don't think the people who gave them to me even realized they were complimenting me. I feel like I walked away like the Secret Life of Walter Mitty... better for life and wanting life to be better.
For Christmas my aunt brought over a couple friends. We are always happy for guests at the house and these ladies fit right in. One lady came up to us and let Johnny and I know that they read our year end letter. Then she said, "Whoever wrote your letter is a very talented writer"
That doesn't seem like much, but it was to me. I really try to think about how I want to convey my thoughts... I write a lot like I think, but I either want to convey an emotion or get straight to the point. It was a sweet feeling to hear someone appreciate that effort.
Then the next day I went out with my sister in law. We were just talking and chatting about what we thought we would be when we grew up and did that change etccccccc...
Then she said, " you know, I see you being famous for something you did being you [rather than being a famous actress or something]. Can you imagine me being an activist? or starting world peace? or even just helping out in N. Africa and it affecting the world.... that was an amazing compliment to give me that kind of potential.
This season of life has been hard with moves and setbacks. But I have hope for the future and sweet friends (and strangers) along the way that have given me potential. I can't wait to see what happens over the next year!
Friday, November 1, 2013
First World Problems
Dear Nestle Purelife Water,
I appreciate that you don't want to shortchange me on my bottled water that I pay more for than a gallon of gas. You fill your water literally all the way to the lid which is much appreciated. But, because of your environmental conscience you decided to use less plastic in your bottle making, creating a more flimsy bottle. Every time I open your water, because you thought so much about my money and my health, I squish the bottle, shooting water out the lid and all over my pants. Please kindly, help the economy by hiring a person to take one sip out of each bottle for me so that I don't create a situation in the car while I'm driving.
thank you for all your consideration,
Ali Campbell
My refrigerator has buttons on the front that allow me to choose the temperature for both the freezer and fridge side. these buttons are on the same panel as the buttons for the ice and water dispenser. My children constantly turn the fridge to 32 degrees, causing everything in the fridge to freeze over including my organic spinach, ruining it... arg
my bananas don't last long enough.
My family wants to buy presents that I don't need for Christmas.
I really like the as seen on tv section of the store: it really might make my life easier for 29.95. Why can't I get a job?
Pinterest: why do people pin things that they want to wear but don't own or afford....
Microwaves are too slow.
I hate having to wait for the Dr.
I hate how many pills my family takes.
Facebook: some people...
Fruit comes year round... I don't even know what's seasonal anymore.
I have too many books.
Why does AMC not allow me to watch walking dead on HULU?
I'm behind on once upon a time...
The funny thing about all of these things is that people , we really do complain about things all the time that we don't realize we are privileged to have.... Thankfulness. It's a mindset.
I appreciate that you don't want to shortchange me on my bottled water that I pay more for than a gallon of gas. You fill your water literally all the way to the lid which is much appreciated. But, because of your environmental conscience you decided to use less plastic in your bottle making, creating a more flimsy bottle. Every time I open your water, because you thought so much about my money and my health, I squish the bottle, shooting water out the lid and all over my pants. Please kindly, help the economy by hiring a person to take one sip out of each bottle for me so that I don't create a situation in the car while I'm driving.
thank you for all your consideration,
Ali Campbell
My refrigerator has buttons on the front that allow me to choose the temperature for both the freezer and fridge side. these buttons are on the same panel as the buttons for the ice and water dispenser. My children constantly turn the fridge to 32 degrees, causing everything in the fridge to freeze over including my organic spinach, ruining it... arg
my bananas don't last long enough.
My family wants to buy presents that I don't need for Christmas.
I really like the as seen on tv section of the store: it really might make my life easier for 29.95. Why can't I get a job?
Pinterest: why do people pin things that they want to wear but don't own or afford....
Microwaves are too slow.
I hate having to wait for the Dr.
I hate how many pills my family takes.
Facebook: some people...
Fruit comes year round... I don't even know what's seasonal anymore.
I have too many books.
Why does AMC not allow me to watch walking dead on HULU?
I'm behind on once upon a time...
The funny thing about all of these things is that people , we really do complain about things all the time that we don't realize we are privileged to have.... Thankfulness. It's a mindset.
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